Whats the best quote?
- Thread starter Bill_Ritter
- Start date
Vendor Defendor
Out the window
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2002
"Stupid people do stupid things,
Smart People out Smart each other"
System of a Down - Ddevil
Smart People out Smart each other"
System of a Down - Ddevil
Pronto
No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2002
MOE, LARRY the CHEESE!
Dis house has sure gone crazy.
Tools? What tools? The tools we've been using for the past ten years. Oh, those tools.
Drop the vanacular. It's not a vanacular it's a duurby.
We're trapped like rats. Speak for yourself.
I am an artieest.
You know Good Time Charlie, he walks like this.
Me top man. Noo, bottom man. Whack
The tusk of a black walrus.
Sir, can I rub alittle of this on your body? You do and I'll call the cops!
MOE, MOE I can't see! Why? I got my eyes closed.
Zop, no like zop.
Guess I'll have to go back to those Cougherdales. UHAAA, you burn up me.
Is this Susquihanna 2,2,2,2? 2,2,2,2 what do you think your playing trains?
Bath? What's a bath?
Dis house has sure gone crazy.
Tools? What tools? The tools we've been using for the past ten years. Oh, those tools.
Drop the vanacular. It's not a vanacular it's a duurby.
We're trapped like rats. Speak for yourself.
I am an artieest.
You know Good Time Charlie, he walks like this.
Me top man. Noo, bottom man. Whack
The tusk of a black walrus.
Sir, can I rub alittle of this on your body? You do and I'll call the cops!
MOE, MOE I can't see! Why? I got my eyes closed.
Zop, no like zop.
Guess I'll have to go back to those Cougherdales. UHAAA, you burn up me.
Is this Susquihanna 2,2,2,2? 2,2,2,2 what do you think your playing trains?
Bath? What's a bath?
Little6pack
Active Member
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2002
MOE: RECEED
SHEMP: THE NIECE IS NICE
LARRY: HEY QUIT PICKING ON HIM
CURLY: NYUK NYUK NYUK WOOG WOOG WOOG WOOO WOOO
SHEMP: THE NIECE IS NICE
LARRY: HEY QUIT PICKING ON HIM
CURLY: NYUK NYUK NYUK WOOG WOOG WOOG WOOO WOOO
A collection from one of my all time favorite movies: The Big Lebowski:
The Dude: That's a great plan, Walter. That's ****in' ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss ****in' watch.
---
Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish.
----
Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! **** me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
---
Treehorn Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the **** is this?
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.
---
Walter:Also, dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
---
The Dude: Well, I still jerk off manually.
---
The Big Lebowski: Isn't that what makes a man?
The Dude: Mmm, sure. That and a pair of testicles.
---
The Dude: That's a great plan, Walter. That's ****in' ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss ****in' watch.
---
Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish.
----
Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! **** me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
---
Treehorn Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the **** is this?
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.
---
Walter:Also, dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
---
The Dude: Well, I still jerk off manually.
---
The Big Lebowski: Isn't that what makes a man?
The Dude: Mmm, sure. That and a pair of testicles.
---
Movie Quotes:
"Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you."
"Bad news. Your little car's gonna drown. And you're gonna die, wearing that stupid hat." - Falling Down
Sarah Harding: "You know, I have made a career out of waiting for you to show up."
Kelly Malcolm: "You know, she does have a pretty good..."
Dr. Ian Malcolm: "It's so important to your future that you don't finish that sentence." - Lost World
"Hey, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass!" - Orgazmo
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: "I know exactly where your body is. What I'm looking for is some indication of a brain. Too much football without a helmet? Hah! Lyndon's line on Gerry Ford. Deputy debriefer, Paris, peace talks, '68. Snagged a silver star and a silver bar. Threw me into G-2."
Charlie Simms: "G-2?"
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: "Intelligence. Of which you have none." - Scent of a Woman
"You want to compare brainpans. I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12, big deal. Published at 19, so what. I got a double doctorate from MIT at 22, Chemistry and Geology. I taught at Princeton for two and a half years. Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes and the let me use explosives." - Armageddon
Mitch Hedberg Quotes:
"I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. 'Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide...'"
"This shirt is dry clean only. Which means...it's dirty. "
"My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! F*ck. Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."
"Foosball f*cked up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin 'round and round. I can't do a backflip, much less several simultaneously with two other guys."
"An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
Here are more...
"Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you."
"Bad news. Your little car's gonna drown. And you're gonna die, wearing that stupid hat." - Falling Down
Sarah Harding: "You know, I have made a career out of waiting for you to show up."
Kelly Malcolm: "You know, she does have a pretty good..."
Dr. Ian Malcolm: "It's so important to your future that you don't finish that sentence." - Lost World
"Hey, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass!" - Orgazmo
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: "I know exactly where your body is. What I'm looking for is some indication of a brain. Too much football without a helmet? Hah! Lyndon's line on Gerry Ford. Deputy debriefer, Paris, peace talks, '68. Snagged a silver star and a silver bar. Threw me into G-2."
Charlie Simms: "G-2?"
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: "Intelligence. Of which you have none." - Scent of a Woman
"You want to compare brainpans. I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12, big deal. Published at 19, so what. I got a double doctorate from MIT at 22, Chemistry and Geology. I taught at Princeton for two and a half years. Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes and the let me use explosives." - Armageddon
Mitch Hedberg Quotes:
"I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. 'Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide...'"
"This shirt is dry clean only. Which means...it's dirty. "
"My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! F*ck. Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."
"Foosball f*cked up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin 'round and round. I can't do a backflip, much less several simultaneously with two other guys."
"An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
Here are more...
"You really put the pin in the party hog now, girl!" - Nothing But Trouble
"College is like high school with ashtrays." - She's Having A Baby
"Am I nuts or does that guy have two left feet? " - Best In Show
"We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening." - This Is Spinal Tap
"Some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe." - Superman: The Movie
"College is like high school with ashtrays." - She's Having A Baby
"Am I nuts or does that guy have two left feet? " - Best In Show
"We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening." - This Is Spinal Tap
"Some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe." - Superman: The Movie
Captain Mark
New Member
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2002
Here are some quotes for all you beer drinkers out there.
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
~ "Unknown"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember "I"! before "E", except in Budweiser.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. ! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
~ "Unknown"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember "I"! before "E", except in Budweiser.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. ! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Bill_Ritter
Plays with Fire
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2002
lol, those were pretty good Mark. I'm going to have to find some way of using those in my school work.
Blown&Injected
Active Member
- Joined
- May 31, 2001
Every time you think you weaken the nation. - Moe Howard
I'd blast - Curly Howard
Curly: Hey look, a roster bar.
Moe: Don't you mean a crow bar!
Curly: Doesn't a roster crow?
I'd blast - Curly Howard
Curly: Hey look, a roster bar.
Moe: Don't you mean a crow bar!
Curly: Doesn't a roster crow?
Blown&Injected
Active Member
- Joined
- May 31, 2001
Jake: Its got a lot of pick up.
Elwood: Its got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant. Its got cop shocks, cop tires, cop suspension, it's a model built before catalytic converters so it will run good on regular gas. Is it the new blues mobile or what?
And who can forget Bevis:
Fire is cool.
Elwood: Its got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant. Its got cop shocks, cop tires, cop suspension, it's a model built before catalytic converters so it will run good on regular gas. Is it the new blues mobile or what?
And who can forget Bevis:
Fire is cool.
turbov6joe
Signal 1 J-12
- Joined
- May 22, 2002
"I'd rather have a bottol in front of me, then a frontal labotomy."
"
"
Captain Mark
New Member
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2002
Number one....I order you to take a number two.
Beavis and Butthead
This Sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before.
Beavis and Butthead
Bathe her, and bring her to me.
Beavis and Butthead
Beavis and Butthead
This Sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before.
Beavis and Butthead
Bathe her, and bring her to me.
Beavis and Butthead
'71buickg.s.
Member
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2003
Let the babies have their bottle, REAL men get blown
Raymond Bunch
"Turbo Enthusiast"
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2002
Man who puts foot in toilet, Has ****y old time.....
