funny phrases got any ?

[Blaine213]

not a phrase but pics are worth a thousand words

 

[benoitthegr8]

"there is no such thing as a stupid question; only stupid people who ask questions"......

 

[87GNSteve]

Phrases for different situations...

If you make or keep making stupid mistakes and someone asks "Do you do drugs?" You reply "No, Drugs do me"

"I refuse to continue this mental masturbation."
Used when ending a futile task or no results are encountered during such an event. Can even be used in a futile conversation with an inane person.

"Just put some schmutz on it."
"[Sch-moot-z]": Any type of liquid, gel, or paste like substance.

 

[Blaine213]

Sign posted at store 'Work-free drug place'

 

[RIFF RAFF]

ok this is back from the dead .. i need a good laugh .

 

[Channeled]

If it floats, flies or f**** it's cheaper to rent.

 

[PLAINWHITE T]

"He looks as stupid as a monkey f__ing a football."

 

[aminga]

Its a Sad frog that won't hollar for his own pond

 

[aminga]

When is everything is wonderful you don't tell folks you got shit in their shorts.

 

[TCR]

got pedigree for my dog more than that i have nothing

 

[groumoutis]

I would try to see it from your point of view but I can't get my head up my @$$!

 

[jimmymack87gn]

......rather jack off with a hand full of sandspurs!
puttin' one in her would be like throwin' a hot dog down the hallway!
you car is so slow you could time it with a calendar.
.....looks like some one hit her between the legs with a bush-axe!
she's so ugly she'd scare a maggot off a gut wagon.
if he were any dumber he'd be driving a Ford.
the only thing your beatin' tonight's your meat (pre-race junk talk)
Whose your daddy? (after above mentioned race)

 

[turbo nasty]

If it has 4 wheels or tits its trouble.

Happier than a sissy and a sack full of di$!s.

Hotter than a half screwed chili picker in a pepper patch.

If ugliness were bricks she'd be a whole set of govt projects

First time my bad, second time your bad ...shouldnt be a 3rd time.

Tighter than a mouses ear

Fast as a scalded ape

 

[deezdad]

Seen better heads on a mug of beer

 

[Chuck Leeper]

Tighter than a gnats ass stretched over a rain barrel....

 

[EVIL]

"I'm hungry like a hostage"
" that's a bad poke"

 

[BadAssGN]

I'm so hungry I could eat the c0ck off a dead horse.

 

[JOHNDEEREGN]

You guys blow so much smoke up my ass my intestines have blisters.

 

[JOHNDEEREGN]

Your head is soved so far up your ass you need to put a window in your stomach to see where the **** your going.