funny phrases got any ?

[RIFF RAFF]

some of my best ill tell you the truth if i have to lie to you to do it ... does a frog pump his azz when he hops... i was born at night just wasnt last night .. and one of my dads . im a sex object traveling in cognito.. always seems to get a laugh. looking to add more so lets hear them

 

[87gnguy]

I told a guy today not to "piss down my back and tell me it's raining". :biggrin:

 

[Little6pack]

my fav was YA SNOOZE YA LOSE! And boy I do a lot of snoozing these days

 

[GNBRETT]

I was being polite at the grocery store a while back and let this old man go in front of me to pay for his food and he said "no you go son, last lime I rushed I got married" I got quite a kick out of that. he was all of 90+ years old

 

[turbonut85]

That's f**ked up as a football-bat...............

 

["Turbo-T"]

Does a bear **** in the woods?

 

[87granny]

I got two balls and neither of them is crystal, works well when a freind tries to have you diag his car over the phone :biggrin:

 

[tntdiablo]

if it was raining *****'s i would get one with a dick already stuck in it

 

[Tom Tom Turbo]

a favorite of mine when somone is giving unwanted advice or opinions....If I wanted lip from you I'd jiggle my zipper.

another favorite....if its got tits or tires its going to give you trouble

 

[turboc87gn]

Dont piss on your knuckles!!!! :biggrin:,Id rather be pissed off than pissed on!!! That engine was knockin like a monkey with a bag full of hammers, I told my dad the other day instead of takin his license when he gets old im gonna install a bifocal windshield in his buick!!!!!

 

[87granny]

Here's one i really like, You can't teach stupid if your stupid today you'll be stupid tomorrow

 

[turbo nasty]

I could fall into a barrel full of Boobs and come out sucking my thumbs.

He is as happy as a sissy and a bag full of D$%&@

Its raining like a cow pi$$in on a flat rock

Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine (My great Gma alwasy said that..guess he died happy IDK LOL)

 

[scrobbyd]

Bowed up like a chihuahua trying to $4it a peach seed!!!

Hung up like a hair in a biscuit!

Tore up like a screen door in the projects!

Pissed off as a short man throwing a Yoyo!

Busier than a one-legged man in a a$$ kickin contest!

He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!

 

[Sal 87WE2]

Does a one legged duck swim in a circle?

If i want any sh!t out of you, i'll squeeze your head - (from some movie)

Got a match? Yea, my ass and your face. (oldie)

When any of my friends are not good at picking up chicks or strike out,
i tell them: "You are like Tuesday Night Football....NO GAME!"

 

[theCATman]

Nuttier than squirrel $hit.

Bitch is bat$hit crazy.

Hotter than a witches tit in a brass bra.

Sweatin' like a whore in church.

I'm gonna beat your head in so far, you'll have to open your zipper to see.

I'm all over it like Oprah on a baked ham.:biggrin:

I like "it", like a fat kid loves cake.

Happier than a fart in the fog.

 

[chadly]

I’ve got to get my poop in a group
Ignorance can be cured Stupid is forever

 

[Dabigguy]

Busy as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Dumb as a box of hammers.

You'd have a better chance smelling a fart in a hurricane.

she's not a dizzy blonde, she's peroxide imapired !!

 

[scottyb]

She's about as sharp as a bowling ball.

The engine's runnin', but there's nobody behind the wheel.

 

[SPOOLFOOL2]

Question asked me last week: "Will this part make my car go faster?"

My answer: "Yes! and if you piss in the ocean, the water will rise".

Mike B.

 

[MeanBuicks]

Hasn't got a snowball's chance in Hell.

Useless as a screen door on a submarine.

Busier than a three-legged dog burrying a turd on a frozen pond.

Busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest.

Busier than a one-armed paper hanger.

Nuttier than squirrel s**t.

Happy as a pig in slop.