funny phrases got any ?

[Pronto]

Are you ready?
Yes, I'm like a canned ham, I'm always ready.

 

[RIFF RAFF]

how about the night shift

got any ? got one today . i asked a customer how he was doing .. he replied just swirlling the drain . then i said well if its low consumption you might get clogged in it

 

[1fast6]

ugly as a mud fence
you need that like a fish needs a bicycle
looks like a couple retards trying to fu#k a door knob
hotter than 2 rats f*cking in a wool sock.
we got our taints handed to us.

 

[Blaine213]

saw a bumper stcker today; " I'm sorry officer, I thought you wanted to race"

 

[hungerbuhler1]

Thats gonna go over good "like a turd in a punch bowl"

 

[1fast6]

if it was raining *****'s i would get one with a dick already stuck in it

I heard a version of this.... With my luck it could be raining pus$ies and I would step outside and get hit with a d!ck!

and one of my favorites... I bet she can do more tricks on 8" of d!ck than a monkey can do on 12 ft of rope.

 

[BMS1]

Does a bear **** in the woods?[/QUOTE

what about the polar bear? he doesnt **** in the woods

 

[1fast6]

Does a bear **** in the woods?[/QUOTE

what about the polar bear? he doesnt **** in the woods

you know how to catch a polar bear?

 

[Vince13]

Two of my favorites
" This guy couldn't fix a sandwich" or "You just can't teach stupid"

 

[three turbos]

Quote

Im not a very patient person and i get tired of hearing (The best comes to those who wait)Hell with that,so now when I here that I come back with (Those who wait get whats left from those who hustle) usualy shuts them up!

 

[Toady]

started saying this at work last fall

If things get any more half-@$$ed around here, I'm going to start cutting a leg off my pants.

 

[RIFF RAFF]

I like it

im not a very patient person and i get tired of hearing (the best comes to those who wait)hell with that,so now when i here that i come back with (those who wait get whats left from those who hustle) usualy shuts them up!

so true .. Im gonna use this one thanks .but ill give you the credit

 

[Eazy-E]

"are you *chitting me clark?!"
man christmas vacation is a great movie

 

[Dabigguy]

you know how to catch a polar bear?

You put a green pea beside a hole in the ice. When the bear bends over to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole !!!

 

[GNBRETT]

Hotter than a witches tit in a brass bra.

isnt that colder?:biggrin: thats the way I remember that saying unless I got it wrong

 

[1980monteturbo]

I remember this one from a book I glanced through at a store - quote from a US drill sgt iir.



" I'd drag my scrotum over 10 yards of ground glass just to finger fu ck her shadow"

 

[GNBRETT]

Im not a very patient person and i get tired of hearing (The best comes to those who wait)Hell with that,so now when I here that I come back with (Those who wait get whats left from those who hustle) usualy shuts them up!

nice!

 

[turboc87gn]

Its hotter than four fat bi***es in a festiva!!!!

 

[buickpassed]

once had a guy tell me women are all sisters:biggrin: I was about 17 at the time now being an old man of 44 man was he right

 

[Chuck Leeper]

A few from..

a really old fart...
Tighter than a frogs a$$, and that's water tight.
Tighter than a gnats a$$ stretched over a rain barrel.
He's so dumb, he thinks Grape Nuts is a disease.

Got more, but CRS has kicked in, and I've forgotten them!!