I know I don't post here a bunch, but reading thru this reminded me of some crap I've pulled over the years.
Back when I was selling cars, the receptionist was an older lady who was actually pretty cool, the kind of older person who remembered what it was like to be young, so she thought some of the stuff we did was pretty funny. We used to dial the free "teaser" phone sex lines, like 1-800-GET-SOME, etc., put the line on hold real quick, and over the intercom go "LINDA, CALL ON LINE ONE, LINDA, LINE ONE"
We had a new manager come in once, and this guy would hire ANYONE who came thru the door. Well, there was this one guy, Rick. He truly was a few fries short of happy meal status.
One day, as I pass by Rick's desk on my way to my own, I look down at the legal pad he's writing on, and I see his name signed on it like hundreds of times. So I ask him, "What's that?" to which he replies- dead seriously- "I'm practicing my autograph for when I become a famous country singer. I'm not gonna work HERE for the rest of my life!" Now people, you'd understand the hilarity of this statement if you even heard him
talk, let alone sing. He sounded like Froggy from the Little Rascals with 4 pack a day lungs. Him saying "I'm gonna be a country singer" is about the same as The Pope saying "let's go hit a titty bar".... it defies all that is good and right in the world.
I don't know how many of you know this, but John Mellencamp lives here in Bloomington, and has a recording studio not too far from town. Rick tells me and my bud Gary one day that he'd been out to Mellencamp's studio, and he dropped off his "demo tape" to them, and now he's just waiting for "the call".
Well, Gary and Idecide to help his dreams come true. We casually got him to give up his pager (tells you how long ago it was) number later in the day, and the day after that, we started to page him with Mellencamp's studio number as the callback. It was great, Gary and I would take turns paging him... we'd just sit there at our desks, take the reciever off the hook and set it on our desks, dial his pager, wait like 10 seconds, punch in the studio's number, and hang up. Thirty seconds later, he'd jump up like he was on fire, grab the phone, and call the studio.... "Hey, this is Rick, you guys page me?" "NO, WE DIDN'T!!" LOL, we never got sick of it, and he was too stupid to realize it wasn't them paging him. I think we did that anywhere from 3 to 10 times a day for about a week.
And then there was Jimmy......
The dealership I worked at had 2 lots.... new/used cars were downtown, and new/used trucks were out on the highway, about 5 minutes away. The manager at the truck lot was a MAJOR butthole. Whenever one of us would go run an errand, go for lunch, whatever, Jimmy thought it was funny to mess with our stuff. His favorite was stealing his victim's phone handset and hiding it. One day, Jimmy goes over to the truck lot to meet some customers there, so while he's gone, I decide it's time for payback. First, I took his phone handset apart and put Scotch tape over the inner part of the earpiece. Still had some time, so I filled a pop bottle with water and slowly poured it into the seat cushion of his chair, so it was good and soaked.
What NONE of us knew was that he didn't make the sale he thought he had all locked up over at the other lot, and was pissed off and did a burnout all the way out the lot. The manager got all bent about it, and about the time Jimmy is walking in the door, the manager is calling him at the main lot. "JIMMY, LINE ONE PLEASE..... JIMMY, LINE ONE" comes over the intercom, and Jimmy sits down, picks up the phone, pushes the button for line one, and says "This is Jimmy". It's the manager at the other lot, ripping him a new one for messing up his asphalt. But Jimmy can't hear a word he's saying beacuse of the tape in his phone. About 5 seconds into the tirade he can't hear, Jimmy realizes his entire ass is soaked all the way to his skivvies. Pissed as all hell and thinking the phone call came from inside the store to get him to sit in the water because there's no one on the line, he says "F*** THIS" and slams the phone down. The other manager drove over in like 3 minutes and fired him. He had it coming anyway.
Scott