Thought of some more today,," I wouldnt piss down his throat if his guts were on fire" Also "My luck has been so bad I could fall into a 55 gallon drum full of titties and come out sucking my thumb!" I am sure there will be more. Also thanks to all of you for your kind words about my dad.
Grandfather from KY,
"Can't make a purse outta a sows ear",
"Didn't have a pot nor a window" (poor, didn't have a pot to S*** in, or a window to throw it out of)