Old timer quotes

[troGNman]

I just heard another from my uncle the other day.

"Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades".

 

[InHock]

Thought of some more today,," I wouldnt piss down his throat if his guts were on fire" Also "My luck has been so bad I could fall into a 55 gallon drum full of titties and come out sucking my thumb!" I am sure there will be more. Also thanks to all of you for your kind words about my dad.

 

[TWISTER]

Heard this on Axe Men. "You cant teach an old dog new tricks, and you cant teach a dumb one nothin,"

 

[Gary Wells]

"First time my bad, Second time your bad, shouldnt be a third time."

FWIW & IMHO:
The original phraseology of that is:
"Once shame on you, twice, shame on me"

"A stitch in time saver nine."

"Haste makes waste."

"Never let the sun set on your anger."

"He who hesitates is lost."

"A fool and his money are soon parted."

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

"Never let your enemy know you are coming."

"An enemy of mine enemy is my friend."

 

[Roc87]

Sorry bout your pop

Grandfather from KY,
"Can't make a purse outta a sows ear",
"Didn't have a pot nor a window" (poor, didn't have a pot to S*** in, or a window to throw it out of)

 

[regan j]

May have already been said , but,,,

What comes out of the bucket came out of the well.
Hell, if he caught it, he wouldnt know what to do with it.

 

[Vampire]

"You make a better door than you do a window" (whenever I was in the way of something, usually the TV)

"What are you, growing a tail?" (Whenever I would leave a door open)

"You're movin slower than a three-legged yard dog" (whenever I would do just about anything)

There's plenty more, I'll think of them later I'm sure...



That one about falling into a 55-gallon drum of tits had me laughing for about 5 minutes...priceless!

 

[PLAINWHITE T]

My dad, whose been gone over 10 years now, used to say:
"You can sh*t on me, but I 'aint gonna let you rub it in!"

 

[InHock]

My dads grandson is at the age he knows everything and my dad tells him "You couldnt pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heal!"

 

[Bruce Urie]

I'm sorry about your Dad. I lost mine the same way.

He used to say to me all of the time....."Make sure you're dead before you breathe your last."

Bruce '87 Grand National