Can I apply to become an illegal alien?

Vampire

Up all night
Joined
Jul 31, 2010
This actual letter written to Senator Tom Harkin by a constituent is brilliant. I saw this on another forum I frequent, and I had to share it with you guys.

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident sent to his senator)
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington, DC 20510


Dear Senator Harkin,


As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for only three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary healthcare provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me, given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.
Thank you for your assistance.


Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status
rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )

Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA
 
various versions of that same letter show up all over the internet from time to time, and they are addressed to a number of different congress critters depending on where the person posting it is from.
 
Urban legend or not, it is still an excellent letter. I believe if a presidential candidate promises to enforce the immigration laws he or she would be elected by a landslide. A very large majority of the country is aware and tired of this problem. If an illegal gets paid $10 an hour a tax paying citizen has to earn $17 an hour to bring home the same amount of money.

This country has became soft and too worried about offending anyone. Illegals claim racism if they are checked for legal citizenship. Last time I checked illegals can be from anywhere but here. U.S. citizens are from every race and so are illegals. The race card is only used as a means to get people to not stand up for what is right. I my opinion if you are here illegally then you have zero rights because you are a criminal!! So get out!! I don't care where you are from, go back there! Especially if you like to fly another countries flag instead of the American flag. You can be proud of you heritage but you moved here for a reason. That reason is because America kicks ass and you want to get in on the ass kicking. So fly your flag but make sure the American flag is on top or get the f:$& out.

If you can't tell I hate illegals and I don't have a problem voicing my opinion on the subject. Never have and never will.
 
Get the businesses to stop hiring illegals and they'll stop coming here. They come here for work. Require every employer to check immigration status of every new employee.
 
Get the businesses to stop hiring illegals and they'll stop coming here. They come here for work. Require every employer to check immigration status of every new employee.

they do run the social security number, but if that comes back good there really isn't much more they can do.

also, if they are checking the SS # and it comes up clean, then those people will be paying payroll taxes- even if they are paying in the name of someone that's been dead for 10 years...
 
For my current job, I had to go through E-Verify system. They couldn't find me at first but eventually found me and I was cleared to work. All new employees should go through E-Verify, problem solved.
 
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