I don't know if this is true or not, but it is a great read!!!!
BAD DAY AT WORK! If you don't laugh out loud after you read this, you are in a coma! Rob is a commercial saturation Diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs under-water repairs on oil drilling rigs. Here, is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. They were sponsoring a worst day at work contest and needless to say, he won.
Hi, Sue Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week, I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I'd share my dilemma with you to make you realize that it's not so bad afterall.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I must first bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office-- a wet suit. This time of year, the water is quite cool. So, what we do to keep warm is this. We have a diesel-powered water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment that sucks water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a water hose taped to the air hose. Now, all this sounds like a darned good plan and I have used it several times without complaints.
What I do when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the water hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's fantastic. . . .like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well untin all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.. So, of course, I scratched it. This, of course, only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bottom began to feel a burning sensation. I pulled the hose from out of my back thinking that maybe the water was too hot, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it directly into my suit. Since I have no hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not so fortunate. When I had scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding tha jellyfish, and all its poisonous, stinging tentacles, into the crack of my bottom. I immediately informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear, due to the fact that he and five other divers were laughing hysterically.
Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, all I was wearing was my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water the medic, with tears of laughter streaming down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got into the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days because my bottom was swolen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be with a jellyfish shoved up your bottom. Now, repeat to yourself, "Ilove my job, Ilove my job, I love my job." And whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, "Is this a jellyfish day?" MAY YOU NEVER HAVE A JELLYFISH DAY!
BAD DAY AT WORK! If you don't laugh out loud after you read this, you are in a coma! Rob is a commercial saturation Diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs under-water repairs on oil drilling rigs. Here, is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. They were sponsoring a worst day at work contest and needless to say, he won.
Hi, Sue Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week, I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I'd share my dilemma with you to make you realize that it's not so bad afterall.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I must first bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office-- a wet suit. This time of year, the water is quite cool. So, what we do to keep warm is this. We have a diesel-powered water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment that sucks water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a water hose taped to the air hose. Now, all this sounds like a darned good plan and I have used it several times without complaints.
What I do when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the water hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's fantastic. . . .like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well untin all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.. So, of course, I scratched it. This, of course, only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bottom began to feel a burning sensation. I pulled the hose from out of my back thinking that maybe the water was too hot, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it directly into my suit. Since I have no hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not so fortunate. When I had scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding tha jellyfish, and all its poisonous, stinging tentacles, into the crack of my bottom. I immediately informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear, due to the fact that he and five other divers were laughing hysterically.
Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, all I was wearing was my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water the medic, with tears of laughter streaming down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got into the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days because my bottom was swolen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be with a jellyfish shoved up your bottom. Now, repeat to yourself, "Ilove my job, Ilove my job, I love my job." And whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, "Is this a jellyfish day?" MAY YOU NEVER HAVE A JELLYFISH DAY!
