Wife wants a Divorcee

[Strahd_Zarovich]

My wife asked for a Divorcee last weekend 26MAY06. I love this girl and would really like to work things out. Anyone been thought this? Is it worth all the headaches? I just can not imigen being with anyone else and it sickens me to think of her with someone else. She said that she needs to be alone for a while and swears that there is no one else in her life. She is just going thought a lot of changes in her life and job.


Help Please….

 

[vader87]

Man I hate to hear this! I just went through one myself. We were married 20 years! Our issue was we were going in different directions in our lives. It sucked bad watching her get on the plane back to the States. I really wanted to work it out but it never did. It did really upset me when she told me she began seeing someone else. Yea it hurts but it goes away. I have a girl friend now and I talk to my ex 2 or 3 times a week. We are still best friends and I would rather have that than nothing. This weekend I helped her work things out with her relationship with the other man . But to tell you the truth it wasn't that bad. Just knowing she is happy makes it all good. If you do decide to get a divorce, DON"T make it bad, it is bad enough already. If you have kids, LEAVE THEM OUT OF IT! Sit down like 2 adults, talk and decide the best way for both of you. Good Luck and it will take 1 year to get over it enough to move on (my Mom told me that and it is true).

 

[BandAid]

Sorry to hear...wish I could say something,but knowing me I would just mke you feel worse....
Keep your enemies close,and your wife closer..

 

[BandAid]

Good Luck and it will take 1 year to get over it enough to move on (my Mom told me that and it is true).

How long did it take your ex to move on

 

[vader87]

Well she left in Feb 2005. I did not date or want to date for 6 months. Then I met Heike, my girlfriend and started dating her here and there. It still took another 6 months to dedicate 100% to her. For the first six months of our relationship I was torn between her and my ex. January this year, I made my mind up to stay with Heike. I still have a bad day here and there about my ex, but I force myself to think of Heike and I. So to answer your question, it took her 5 months to start dating and she is still having a hard time.

 

[TURBOPOWERED68]

When my ex said that to me it felt like my world was over. But after 3 months it was a hole new beginning 10 years later 2 more kids to bring the total to 3. And I look at her life and compare it to mines and I thank god that she got rid of me. My oldest her daughter says “pop thank you for taking me with you”
“no hay mar que por bien no venga”

BTW the best thing that happened was that she met another man and left me the fluck alone.
I wish you the best
Don’t do anything stupid
Tomorrow is another day
Time heals all wounds

 

[Grumpy]

best info so far ... tuff decision :redface:

 

[turbosam6]

I don't care what she says she has most likely found someone else. Don't push things to stay with her, if she isn't 100% commited to the relationship it'll fail. Its better for it to fail now, than later. If she doesn't want to be with you find someone who does, life is too short to spend all your time trying to convince her to stay with you.

Best of luck, if you have kids, spend your time with them, if not, hang otu with your buddies, it helps take your mind off the pain.

 

[turbot2496]

I don't care what she says she has most likely found someone else.

I agree. Every time I've ever heard that a women wants a divorce,, out of the blue, it means she's having an affair.... and yes they all deny it. My last friend that went through this, his parents hired a detective behind his back and presented him with the videos and evidence. Needless to say he was stunned... and he also had 2 kids which made things much worse. The best thing to do is just get the divorce, try to be civil and get everything you can. If you let it get ugly the only ones that win are the lawyers. I hope things work out man and use your head and not your heart.

 

[chrisgarrett]

Whether she has another man or not, keep your self-respect and your dignity. Never let her see you cry (yes it's okay), and never, never lose your temper. Be a man and be nothing but strong. Showing weakness only makes it worse. Women hate weak men. They admire and want strong men.

Oh, and keep yourself busy. Don't mope around. Keeping busy takes your mind off of it. Good Luck. I've been there too.

 

[Strahd_Zarovich]

It is hard for me to stay bussy. i am 4 hours from home and don't have anyone to hang out with or know anything to do in Augusta, GA. As for her cheating if I did find out she would kill her life. We both are military and she would be removed from duty and this is her life.

I lost my temper when she first told me and I took everything from her and ran. I wish I did not do that it just made things alot harder.

 

[BandAid]

Sorry but ,what is the ratio of men to women in the military.....She is cheating ,sorry to say...... ITs so much easier for women to cheat then men,we have to go pursue a women ,all they have to do say yes...plus womens life long contunious goal is alway to be desired and wanted,,,you not being around much leaves her feeling unwated and desired.
me on the other hand work 17hrs aday,but I keep her chained up in the basement,plus she doesnt work,just look back when it used to be a single worker in the house,there was very little cheating,,now with double incomes ,women work and have men gauwking at them,,chain um up I say

 

[pdzz]

Good luck. I found out in April my wife of 17 years was sleeping with my best friend that I've known since we were 8!! Guess what, she wasn't happy !! He sure was after he just went thru a second divorce in which he cried on my sholder since last October!!! Women are F*$% up !! I am now on anti dpressants, and have lost 33 lbs since April 3rd. Oh and Iwasn't fat!! Currently going thru counseling bla bla bla. Move on I'm a chump trying to make it work, it won't. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

 

[turbosam6]

Good luck. I found out in April my wife of 17 years was sleeping with my best friend that I've known since we were 8!! Guess what, she wasn't happy !! He sure was after he just went thru a second divorce in which he cried on my sholder since last October!!! Women are F*$% up !! I am now on anti dpressants, and have lost 33 lbs since April 3rd. Oh and Iwasn't fat!! Currently going thru counseling bla bla bla. Move on I'm a chump trying to make it work, it won't. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

I'd choke that bitch. No offense....

I have friends that routinely cheat on their wives, like they are single. I just don't get it. Why get married?

I actually asked one guy that question, I mean this dude nails a new chick every 3-4 days (no BS) and has only been married for a couple years. Hell, he's even been married a few times. His answer?

"I needed better credit."


While that may be funny, he's married to a good woman who is apparently just nieve, and I just wait for the day he brings her home some herpes or something.


Dennis: You are the man, keep that pimp hand strong! :biggrin:

You remind me of a show I once saw, where a guy was talking about how men were so much smarter than women. The woman wanted to work, and he basically said "No wife of mine is gonna work, I am the smart one and women are dumb. I will work and you sit at home."

Who's the dumb one?

 

[BandAid]

Sam your funny ,but I truely feel for Pdzz,man I would choke both them fockers...How that boy sam..got any pics ----sorry to highjack this thread..
Dennis

 

[dgreen1069]

I think you've gotten a lot of insight and some good advice from this thread. I'm not as convinced that your wife is cheating as some of the other fellas. Plenty of women are cheating when they ask for divorce, but plenty of others are simply getting the attention they need from someone else (without actually cheating yet).

Keep your head up and use some common sense. As others have said, divorces are already bad, there is no reason to make them worse. If you don't have any kids things should go pretty easy. Even though she is instigating things, make sure you treat her the same way you want to be treated. Good luck, I truly wish you both the best.

 

[Brer Rabbit]

Get a good attorney now.

Dont be a fool and try to work things out, No more contact, everything goes thru ur Attorney. If u dont we will all be buying ur extra parts and ur car and everything else u thought u would keep, but the catch is it will be hers to sell to us and not u. I handle a lot of Domestics all day long so I think my observation is based on a bit more than opinion. And that observation is: "All Women are evil". If there are children involved than thats really unfortunate, but not the end of the world. Please remember she will burn u if she has the chance. *uckin Broads, there all no good.

 

[turbosam6]

Dennis, the boy is doin' fine. Finally started walking and is learning so fast. Hows your baby? Lots of work, huh?


"Cheating" can mean many things, but if she is getting emotionally attatched to another man its still cheating, even if they haven't had intercourse. If she has feelings for him stronger than the feelings she has for you, what difference does it make if she's having sex with him? I think most of the time when women cheat, its not for sex. Its for attention, unlike men, who do cheat for sex. Women require constant affirmation and compliments, and alot of attention. They are high maintenance!

 

[BandAid]

here is one thing I heard ,,,,Go visit or interview with ALL the best attornies in the area,that way she cant use them ,conflict of interest or something like that ,

 

[PEACHS]

I am sorry to hear that this is happening. You Should appreciate the fact that she has COMMUNICATED this to you. At least you now are aware so no betrayal. If she is not 100% commited then i would let her go. If she did meet someone else i would not want her back. You CANNOT change it.

I went through something similar and i am glad to be alone. Being with the same DRAMA queen for 10 years sucked. I am a much stronger and secure person i don't depend on any DRAMA women for anything. I am thankful that the opportunity is there to go out with any women i please. I CALL the shots and it's cool. My Ex is so regretful and sees that i have PROSPERED. It will take 5-6 months and the support from your buddies to get through this.

Oh my ex did call 6 weeks ago I told her i was busy and let it go.... HA HA

There is a 1/4 track in Jackson SC meet up with some of the GN/TR guys there. They race every Wednesday night.
Hope this helps,