- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
Everything I needed to know in life I learned from The Fast and the Furious
1. You need Nos. Two bottles. The big ones.
2. It ain’t how you stand by your car, its how big the wing is.
3. You can have beer, as long as it’s Corona.
4. If the road suddenly narrows, drive under a truck.
5. Practice pre-race skills with GT 3 A-Spec, yo.
6. Even the cops in L.A. are Hollywood.
7. No one likes the tuna.
8. Big wing=big speed.
9. Amateurs don’t use Nos.
10. Never narc anyone
11. Stickers, stickers, stickers.
12. Winning’s winning.
13. Stand-alone fuel management system.
14. Break her heart, get neck broke.
15. Leopard-skin parts make you badass.
16. Live life a quarter mile at a time (~16seconds).
17. L.A. cops respond to one emergency at a time with the whole police force...
18. You can never have enough foglights.
19. Only asians, latinos, and blacks street-race; everyone else is an undercover cop.
20. Win race, get a threesome.
21. Shooting a MAC-11 from a motorcycle isn’t easy.
22. Ramming a Charger with a motorcycle hurts.
23. Oil tastes bad.
24. Pizza boys don’t like street racers.
25. Stay out of asian turf or don’t sleep with their sisters.
26. The Fed with the loudest voice can pin it on anyone he wants.
27. Stealing Apex DVD players is lucrative.
28. The proper display of affection with a bald man is kissing his head.
29. Cuban restaurants are called ‘Cha-Cha-Cha’.
30. Truckers never carry guns (almost).
31. Truckers don’t know how to use brakes.
32. It’s not a color unless it begins with ‘neon’.
33. Car part stores give Lightnings to delivery boys.
34. Fire bursting from tail pipe indicates speed.
35. High-pitched buzzing exhaust indicates speed.
36. Single windshield wiper? Ditto ^ .
37. Hoods and body kits do not need paint.
38. It’s not the train that gets you, it’s the truck.
39. Ugly paint is not a bad way to spend $10,000.
40. Overuse of nitrous makes the floorboard fall off.
41. Dual tailpipes are good, quad tailpipes are better.
42. CAI adds 50 HP.
43. Exhaust adds 150 HP.
44. If you scream ‘Nos’ it will explode.
45. Ferraris are more than you can afford, pal.
46. You can beat any car if you say ‘smoke um’ before you run.
47. Any scrap-heap can be made race-ready in under a week if the parts are ordered from Japan.
48. Computer-controlled nitrous kits require a laptop.
49. Owning a ‘suppressed MAC-11’ is a ‘minor weapons violation’.
50. Tuned cars have at least 10 gears when driven in a straight line.
51. And whatever you do, DON’T BLOW THE WELDS on the intake manifold.
1. You need Nos. Two bottles. The big ones.
2. It ain’t how you stand by your car, its how big the wing is.
3. You can have beer, as long as it’s Corona.
4. If the road suddenly narrows, drive under a truck.
5. Practice pre-race skills with GT 3 A-Spec, yo.
6. Even the cops in L.A. are Hollywood.
7. No one likes the tuna.
8. Big wing=big speed.
9. Amateurs don’t use Nos.
10. Never narc anyone
11. Stickers, stickers, stickers.
12. Winning’s winning.
13. Stand-alone fuel management system.
14. Break her heart, get neck broke.
15. Leopard-skin parts make you badass.
16. Live life a quarter mile at a time (~16seconds).
17. L.A. cops respond to one emergency at a time with the whole police force...
18. You can never have enough foglights.
19. Only asians, latinos, and blacks street-race; everyone else is an undercover cop.
20. Win race, get a threesome.
21. Shooting a MAC-11 from a motorcycle isn’t easy.
22. Ramming a Charger with a motorcycle hurts.
23. Oil tastes bad.
24. Pizza boys don’t like street racers.
25. Stay out of asian turf or don’t sleep with their sisters.
26. The Fed with the loudest voice can pin it on anyone he wants.
27. Stealing Apex DVD players is lucrative.
28. The proper display of affection with a bald man is kissing his head.
29. Cuban restaurants are called ‘Cha-Cha-Cha’.
30. Truckers never carry guns (almost).
31. Truckers don’t know how to use brakes.
32. It’s not a color unless it begins with ‘neon’.
33. Car part stores give Lightnings to delivery boys.
34. Fire bursting from tail pipe indicates speed.
35. High-pitched buzzing exhaust indicates speed.
36. Single windshield wiper? Ditto ^ .
37. Hoods and body kits do not need paint.
38. It’s not the train that gets you, it’s the truck.
39. Ugly paint is not a bad way to spend $10,000.
40. Overuse of nitrous makes the floorboard fall off.
41. Dual tailpipes are good, quad tailpipes are better.
42. CAI adds 50 HP.
43. Exhaust adds 150 HP.
44. If you scream ‘Nos’ it will explode.
45. Ferraris are more than you can afford, pal.
46. You can beat any car if you say ‘smoke um’ before you run.
47. Any scrap-heap can be made race-ready in under a week if the parts are ordered from Japan.
48. Computer-controlled nitrous kits require a laptop.
49. Owning a ‘suppressed MAC-11’ is a ‘minor weapons violation’.
50. Tuned cars have at least 10 gears when driven in a straight line.
51. And whatever you do, DON’T BLOW THE WELDS on the intake manifold.
