The Next Time You Get Pulled Over.....

[jimmayor007]

I found this one and laughed my A** OFF

I don't get to see my girflriend too much because I work so many hours a week that it's almost impossible. That, mixed with her schedule, doesn't make for much time to see her. When I do find time to see her, I fly from work to her house going 90 in a 55 MPH zone.

That being said, Monday I was speeding to her house from work. I was on a local highway and about 5 minutes from her house when the blue lights blinded my eyes from my rear-view mirror. Damn, I've just been pulled over.

The officer walked up to my car, asked how I was doing, then the usual "license and registration, please". Nothing out of the ordinary.

I carry a gun for my profession and still had it strapped to my side, so I showed him my work ID and gun permit BEFORE whipping out the gun and saying:

"Here's my gun! I'm allowed to carry one!"

Phew, won't do that one again.

After looking over the permit, he eyeballed my crotch.

"I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car, sir. Keep your hands where I can see them."

Either he's a gay cop, or he has a problem with the gun.

I was asked to put my hands on the roof of the car. He pulled my 357 out of its holder.

"I'm going to hold onto this while I run your license, if you don't mind. You can step back into the car."

I got in and shut my door.

"So, Mr. Justin, why were you driving so fast?"

At this moment, my bull**** dispenser started cranking. I could afford another ticket, but would rather not deal with an increased insurance rate. I started spitting a line of total BS.

"Well sir, my job doesn't allow me to see my fiance very much. Since this is the first time in forever that I'm going to see her, I'm rushing to her house to pop the question. I apologize for speeding, I'm just so excited to see the look on her face when I ask her to marry me."

"Do you have a ring?"

"No sir, can't afford one."

"Ah, poor kid."

"I know. Could you do me a favor and write me a ticket? I'd like to look back on this night and laugh about the time I was pulled over and given a ticket the night I was rushing to propose to my wife."

The reason I asked him this is to make my story seem to check out. I'm calling his bluff, if you will.

"Haha, you kids. I'll tell you what-- I'll do you one better. I'll escort you over there through traffic if you're in that much of a rush. Wouldn't that be more of a story?"

Damnit. The guy's caught up in making a Kodak moment when all I want to do is get him off my back and eat tacos with my girlfriend... NOT propose. I've only known the girl for two months-- not exactly ready for the big commitment yet.

"Yes sir, I do believe it would."

After giving him her street name and address, he knew exactly where to go. ****. I got in my car and followed him as his siren rang out. Traffic pulled to the side, peopled yielded at red lights, and cars stopped-- all so I could have tacos with my girlfriend.

After getting to her house, the officer stepped out of his car and knocked on her door. She opened it and stared at him, then me in a look of confusion.

"Hi, I pulled this gentleman over a few minutes ago because he was in a rush to get over here so fast. Justin? Would you like to take it from here?"

I looked at Courtney, then the officer, who wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I tried to take her inside, but the officer stood right there in the doorway to witness the event. The things I'd do to get out of a ticket.

"Courtney... I know I've only known you a short time. But, in that short time <insert romantic bull****>... Will you marry me?"

She wouldn't say yes. She's younger than I am and always talked about how she wanted to date a guy forever until making a commitment.

''YES JUSTIN! I WILL MARRY YOU!"

The officer smiled and clapped as Courtney clamped her arms around my body. The neighbors, who had been wondering why a cop car with its lights on was outside her house cheered.

Courtney's parents called me and told me that they were proud that their daughter found such a nice guy.

Me? Well I got out of a ticket.

**** you. I'm engaged.

-Sideburns
http://funny-speeding-tickets.blogspot.com/

 

[charlief1]

Now if that don't take the cake. LMFAO I'd just take the ticket myself.

 

[Dreamn4GN]

hahaha yeah that new wife is gonna cost more then increased insurance rates

 

[fighterjet gn]

next time, get a radar detector

 

[TKGN1]

LOL
Good one.
I got pulled over just outside of Katy TX a few years back. DPS asked why I was speeding and said there are alot of animals in the area and at night time its very hard to see if something was in the road . He then said, "do you know what its like hitting a cow doing 80 miles per hour?" Me, with my ever interest in knowledge, proudly responded with "I've never seen a cow do 80 miles per hour". Needless to say, HE didn't find that funny then handed me over a ticket.
True story...

 

[Squid4life]

a million tickets would have been cheaper...

 

[roboteq-1]

After dinner, the wife goes looking for hubby. She looks everywhere... Then trys the garage. She hears a soft sobbing coming from one corner and goes to find her husband of 15 years hunched up in a fetal position, rocking back and forth and quietly crying to himself. "whats wrong honey?" she asks. He says- " do you remember 15 years ago when your father caught us in the backseat of my car and gave me the choice of marrying you or going to jail for rape?" Yes, she says, I remember-why??...Today is the day I would have gotten out of jail, he sobs.
Robert

 

[88ZNX]

a million tickets would have been cheaper...

 

[aminga]

A woman woke up on the morning of her 40th anniversary to find her husband sitting on the side of the bed crying.

"What's wrong" she asked.

He said. "Remember when your dad caught us together and said I had 2 choices marry you or go to prison?"

"Yes"

"I would have gotten out today"

 

[charlief1]

After dinner, the wife goes looking for hubby. She looks everywhere... Then trys the garage. She hears a soft sobbing coming from one corner and goes to find her husband of 15 years hunched up in a fetal position, rocking back and forth and quietly crying to himself. "whats wrong honey?" she asks. He says- " do you remember 15 years ago when your father caught us in the backseat of my car and gave me the choice of marrying you or going to jail for rape?" Yes, she says, I remember-why??...Today is the day I would have gotten out of jail, he sobs.
Robert

A woman woke up on the morning of her 40th anniversary to find her husband sitting on the side of the bed crying.

"What's wrong" she asked.

He said. "Remember when your dad caught us together and said I had 2 choices marry you or go to prison?"

"Yes"

"I would have gotten out today"

Marriage is a wonderful institution but I'll be d@mned if I get institutionlized before I need to be.:biggrin:

 

[aminga]

Marriage is a wonderful institution but I'll be d@mned if I get institutionlized before I need to be.:biggrin:

So an old boy is out trying out his latest TR mods and runs across an esteemed member of the Alabama Highway Patrol. Tries to run for a little while but as they say You can't outrun a radio.

The trooper walks up to his window and says. "Look it's 5 minutes to the end of my shift and that little stunt you pulled is going to cost me at least 2 hours of paperwork. Give me a good excuse and I'll let you go"

Guy says "About a year ago my wife ran off with a state trooper and I thought you were trying to bring her back"

"Charges dismissed"

 

[charlief1]

I didn't know my story was out Al. LOL

 

[datant69]

proposal and divorce

a license costs less then 100 in most states and the divorce costs more then we like to imagine. i would have taken the ticket if it was a true story, been married once and i swear i'll never marry again, i'm renting to own or leasing for now.

 

[faster]

That's funny!

But race cars and motorcycles are cheaper than girls.

Mikey

 

[datant69]

if you really want to piss a cop off

when he asks you where your coming from tell him his house and his wife and teen daughter showed you a REAL GOOD TIME. after you wake up from the coma let us know how it was and went over if you remember.