It"s alive!!!!!
I am happy to report that the car is running.
I am profusely grateful to our "local guru" Mr. Wilson who stopped by today and helped me to get the old beast running.
Here's a break down of what we did:
Checked coilpack and ignition module- they were good
Checked plug wires- they were good
Swapped in some new plugs with a tighter gap - old ones were starting to get fouled
Pulled cam sensor and re-installed new one- old one had a little bit of play. NOTE: after swapping and re-setting it still exhibited the same no-start symptoms.
We drained some fuel to check for water- looked ok but he recommended new fuel
We swapped in a different MAF
Eventually, as I tried to crank engine (one of the many times), and he grabbed the throttle and it rumbled to life! We let her run for a while and she seemed to "clear out" a bit..... Coolant temp was stuck at 57-64*- opened the radiator and there wasn't much water so we filled it and the temp came up to normal. IAC seems to be possibly "gummed up" as it's formerly regular low numbers were all over the place. Adjustments to the IAC and TPS yielded the same results....
We're wondering if maybe by virtue of having the car sit so long that maybe the IAC became a little dirty and has been sticking maybe causing an issue with the no-start.
Car has been running for the past few hours with intervals of being turned off and turned on just to make sure.... I will let her cool down and try again tomorrow morning to confirm that we're good to go...
At this point, I think our results are inconclusive... We cannot seem to pinpoint a specific smoking gun. However, all the numbers (besides the wonky IAC), seem to within the proper range and the car ran as smooth as ever....
Thanks again to Mr. Wilson!!!
Also, many thanks to all the folks who took the time to post and try to help me out!!! This site rocks.