Divorce sucks

[1chance]

Well i feel your pain, i to went thru the same thing not about a year ago. Now if you listen to some of this advice you maybe ok. First thing the Love for her will never leave, you just got to understand that she dont love you the same way. Second not if but WHEN she put child support on you DO NOT! Take your pay check stubs to them, and makesure she dont have any. By law they got to set it by what you give them, unless you miss a court date.As soon as you hear that shes try to get it on you, go take it out on yourself(DONT WAIT FOR THEM TO TAKE IT OUT. 1almost sure way to find a good girl. Always find you a daddys girl, makesure she loves, and respects her dad, if a women dont respect her father she will never love, and respect her man. Just think of girls you know, and compare them. Fourth, and formost, the best way to get over someone, is to get on top of someone else . 6months from now,IF you dont even show her you care she will beg you back, but if you beg now youll never get her back, and she will hurt you that much more. Now if you get her back, she will still do you wrong again, Good Luck, one day you will look back, and laugh at this time in your life, but you got to hold on.

 

[Junior Samples]

A ton of good advice cause we all been there, So many replys have hit it on the head that I couldnt quote them all

Dunno but some girls, if ya treat em like crap its a challenge for them, the ole nice guys finish last

Kick her to the curb and let the next one deal with it, just remember... for every man and woman, there was once a man and a woman who kicked em to the curb.

Ive been down this road i passed the sign that said bump ahead then i put it to the wood with the wind in my hair,
and Led Zeppelin Achilles Last Stand playing real loud.

Mike

 

[BandAid]

Kick her sorry arse to the curb and get custody of your son,who knows what kinda trash she will bring home ,dont put your son in harms way.....


visit all the best attorney's that you can ,that way she cant use them for herself,heard that from a buddy,not sure if its true... best of luck


get your son...............................period...............................

 

[slow87]

DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS THAN JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY When you let her have legal you will be shafted on future disputes. Legal gets to decide what schools, what religion, who the baby sitter is etc. When you have joint legal future court disputes will usually be decided by whats best for the child. If she demands to have the kid more let her get primary physical. All you need to prove later is the kid is better off with you. If you live in a better school district, better neighborhood etc you should win.

We were civil, and everything was going fine until I started dating again. Since then I have had to fight in court for every second I see my son even with joint physical. All I can do when she hides from me is take her to court for contempt.
She even moved twice without telling me,(which is parental kidnapping) and nothing has happened over it. The judge just tells her to stop it, and the police won't get involved without a court order.(theres more behind that, but its a long story)

 

[DaJoker]

I would have a SERIOUS problem with my family and friends not telling me anything!! I don't have it in to let a friend be made a fool of by the opposite sex. I will take the bs from a friend if they are being cheated on and I had to be the one to say something(it will work out when the truth comes out). Good luck bro.

 

["Turbo-T"]

One of the key elements of marriage is trust. You cannot trust an unfaithful woman.

Do yourself and her a favor. Sever any and all ties. She did it more than once and probably will more than likely do it again. Don't give her another inch of the rope.

 

[GNflyby]

I would have a SERIOUS problem with my family and friends not telling me anything!! I don't have it in to let a friend be made a fool of by the opposite sex. I will take the bs from a friend if they are being cheated on and I had to be the one to say something(it will work out when the truth comes out). Good luck bro.

I couldn't agree more!!!

 

[Junior Samples]

I would have a SERIOUS problem with my family and friends not telling me anything!! I don't have it in to let a friend be made a fool of by the opposite sex. I will take the bs from a friend if they are being cheated on and I had to be the one to say something(it will work out when the truth comes out). Good luck bro.

I agree, bad thing is.... getting involved is a double edged sword, ive been on both sides of that coin, if 5 people know, no one wants to be the first to break it and if one does man up and break the news, sometimes they run the risk of being resented by the person for telling them what they dont want to hear in the first place.
I always said I would want to be told but when i was I didnt want to believe it.

In the end its not worth it to try and hold on, just walk away and dont look back

 

[turbosam6]

Take your son and leave. Do you really want your kid in a home with a cheating whore who is going to have men over you don't know? Men who will be around your kid? F that. Your son is going to play second fiddle to whatever guy she's boning at that moment. Take him and make him your only priority. Sell whatever you have to to pay for a lawyer that will bury her. Its time to stop being the nice guy who cares about her, she made her bed, let her lay in it.

 

[tacordes]

wow

 

[Brer Rabbit]

Well said,

I don't mean to be a wise-ass or try to sound insensitve. I went through a really difficult divorce too. But I have to ask: Why on earth would you want a woman back who has cheated on you, broken the bond of trust and disrepected you? Love is a two way thing. If someone has done this to you, they do not love you. You can never trust her again. Maybe it's your forgiving nature that made her lose respect for you in the first place.
Sorry if I offended you, but that's how I see it. Joint custody is fine, but make sure you are the custodial parent or your child will have a new daddy.
Be strong and move on. She will only respect you even less if you don't.

I would only add that she is playing U like a fiddle right now. If ur feeling sorry for her in anyway then she has already won the battle. Stay strong and give her nothing but what the courts decide. My good friends wife is in Vegas right now with a scum bag scammer that I knew when I worked in a dealership years ago. My buddy knows it but realizes that women are screwed up in the head for the most part and in their mind can always justify their actions. Be glad U dont have 6 kids like they do! Ages 10-1.5. Remember this also she will do to the next guy what she did to U so theres no reason to go after any of the guys in situations like this. Good Luck.

 

[Mark E.]

I would have a serious issue with my friends knowing and not spilling it.

With that said, Does she have a hot sister? If so, give her a call.

 

[bison]

This situation sucks. She will continue lying at this point. Custody will be joint unless you can prove she is mentally unstable and not under the tratment of a doctor or has been arrested for a situation where she has put others life in danger (DUI). That is BS that others you trusted knew and didnt tell you. Just be a good father and move on. You will find a great women in the future. Hang in there bro.

 

[bison]

Id be sure to hide as many assets as possible since she will try to screw you out of them also. Not always the right thing to do but you have to watch your back at this point. You should file now if she hasnt. This way you get to go on the stand first. Her getting served papers will be a little reality slap in her face.

 

[BandAid]

I'd find the nearest drug dealer and sprinkle some coke in the coffee grounds.tell the courts she abuses drugs

 

[darkred87T]

-I found out yesterday that my family and friends all knew and just couldnt find a way to tell me-

I'm single and I don't know the first thing about marriage or divorce but man, why would your own family and freinds keep the fact that your spouse is cheating on you a secret?

Anyhow, good luck with your future and hope all turns out well in the end.

 

[QUIP'6']

once a who-ore always a who-ore they never learn untill they are burned. been there done that.

 

[no-nos]

just my 2cents

your a bit too calm if you ask me, i would kick her undeserveing azz out and then give a mouth full to those who just stood by, i could never sit back and watch A friend be taken advantage of , do your best to take custody of your son, One of my best friends went thru, this after 15 yrs and 3 girls his wife decided to have an affair with a neighbor , the bitch never trusted me, she always thought i was going out with him to introduce him to some girls, but behind his back she was the one doing all the cheating .

the decision is Ultimately yours, it must feel like the world just went to shiz on you, it may feel that way but it's not, you sound like a way better man than to down yourself with pitty. it's going to be tough, now is when you really need your best bud to be there. but if not around, then you have to go out, meet new people, don't sit there and linger it's not going to help you one bit. your a good hard working guy who deserves better, there are plenty of woman out there that would love to be with an honest guy.

your taking it better than i would, I would have beat the brain's out of the guy and kick her azz out asap. I know you say you still love her but remember she obviously does not have the same feeling for you, she may still love you but she may not be in love with you. 2 different things
you sound like a good guy madhat and i apologize if something i said has angered you, but i hate when an honest guy is getting the screwed
my friends wife tried to comeback to him, but he told her " he did'nt anything to do with her anymore, i' moved on a long time ago.

you do not deserve what she did to you, and as someone said if she did it once she'll do it again. it's got to be hard on you especially since you really love her. but believe me my friend , YOU WILL OVERCOME THIS. you will go on and meet a nice girl-woman who will show you what true devotion, and true love really means. hang in there bud. alot of good advice has been given out by the guys, i know i'm not the best at it. you have a good head on your shoulders there bud, use it as you are now WISELY, and you'll be fine.
time helps heal the broken hearted, hang in there .

 

[madhat]

I have seen that there is a lot of faith here and after some inner reflection and talking with family I have come to some conclusions on this trip. I have always seen faith in a higher power as a crutch for people - I hate to say it so simply and risk offending those who have been so supportive, but I dont want to sit down and explain it all. Well, I have never really had an experience that made me want a greater being. But I wonder, could this be God breaking me down and "skinning my knees"? Could this be a greater power's way of showing me the way? Be it jsut that I needed to find them or that I was on the wrong path. I dont know, but I think I have finally put my heart in its place and can move to make the proper choices when I return tomorrow.

 

[SS_Sean]

Long Story Short: my wife twice cheated on me and I still love her and want her back even as she leaves me. I havent decided about custody yet, but most likly joint will be the answer I come to.

Man up, chief. If she cheats on you once you can never trust her again. It's all done and over with after the first time. Twice? Get a lawyer and get your kid....she's scum.