This is very funny...
MOVIE REVIEW | '2 FAST 2 FURIOUS'
Classy Chassis, Unleaded Love
By A. O. SCOTT
"2 Fast 2 Furious," a new seatbelt-awareness film that opens nationwide today, features two very fine and touching performances, both of them by cars. Indeed, the movie, directed by John Singleton from a script by Michael Brandt and Derek Haas, can be seen as something of a love story, in which a pair of tricked-out Mitsubishis - a cute purple Spider convertible and a sinewy yellow Evolution - carry out a high-speed courtship as they dart and frolic along the highways of South Florida. Then, at what should be their moment of consummation, these two frisky vehicles are replaced by a pair of domestic hotrods (an orange Dodge and a blue Chevy), one of which crashes onto the deck of a yacht.
Unfortunately, all of these supremely expressive vehicles come equipped with drivers, principally a pair of crash-test dummies played by Paul Walker and Tyrese, whose low-gear dialogue makes the whine of engines sound like the highest poetry.
To make a dumb story short, the two of them, boyhood friends who have grown up to be an ex-cop (Mr. Walker) and an ex-con (Tyrese), go undercover to help a sexy customs agent (Eva Mendes) snare a drug kingpin (Cole Hauser). The kingpin is eager to hire street racers to ferry his ill-gotten gains from one place to another, perhaps because brightly painted flame-shooting cars traveling at double the speed limit are unlikely to attract the attention of law enforcement. He might have done better with Buick-driving retirees, or carrier pigeons, but that would have been a different movie.
This one is a sequel to "The Fast and The Furious," the success of which helped propel Vin Diesel to stardom. Mr. Diesel and Rob Cohen, who directed the first movie, have moved on to the "XXX" franchise, leaving their successors choking on fumes. "2 Fast 2 Furious" is among the most lethargic action movies I have ever seen: when Mr. Walker and Tyrese are not driving, it might as well be called "2 Slow 2 Tedious," since the script shows all the energy and sophistication of an old episode of TJ Hooker.
But even the racing and chasing, which is what really matters in a picture like this, is clumsy and lame, about as viscerally exciting as the masterworks of eight-millimeter instructional cinema I was forced to watch in driver ed class back in high school. The basic editing scheme suggests a how-to video on manual shifting techniques. Step 1: depress the clutch. Step 2: yank the gearshift. Step 3: grimace and shout in the ethnic slang idiom of your choice. Repeat as necessary until you crash into something or find it advisable to activate the nitrogen-powered booster rockets, now available from your dealer as part of the special doofus hotrod sport package.
Mr. Singleton, whose limitations as an action director were also on display in the remake of "Shaft," at least seems to respect the beauty of cars, and also - though respect may be precisely the wrong word - that of women. Ms. Mendes and Devon Aoki have some lines to say, and Ms. Aoki is even permitted to drive. But mostly the women, like the cars, are around to fuel adolescent male fantasies and are similarly ogled, at leeringly low angles, by the camera.
"2 Fast 2 Furious" is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned) for some adult language, some violent scenes and a flagrant indifference to the basic principles of traffic safety.
2 FAST 2 FURIOUS
Directed by John Singleton; written by Michael Brandt and Derek Haas, based on a story by Gary Scott Thompson; director of photography, Matthew F. Leonetti; edited by Bruce Cannon and Dallas Puett; music by David Arnold; production designer, Keith Brian Burns; produced by Neil H. Moritz; released by Universal Pictures. Running time: 100 minutes. This film is rated PG-13.
WITH: Paul Walker (Brian O'Connor), Tyrese (Roman Pearce), Eva Mendes (Monica Fuentes), Cole Hauser (Carter Verone), Chris (Ludacris) Bridges (Tej), James Remar (Agent Markham) and Devon Aoki (Suki).
MOVIE REVIEW | '2 FAST 2 FURIOUS'
Classy Chassis, Unleaded Love
By A. O. SCOTT
"2 Fast 2 Furious," a new seatbelt-awareness film that opens nationwide today, features two very fine and touching performances, both of them by cars. Indeed, the movie, directed by John Singleton from a script by Michael Brandt and Derek Haas, can be seen as something of a love story, in which a pair of tricked-out Mitsubishis - a cute purple Spider convertible and a sinewy yellow Evolution - carry out a high-speed courtship as they dart and frolic along the highways of South Florida. Then, at what should be their moment of consummation, these two frisky vehicles are replaced by a pair of domestic hotrods (an orange Dodge and a blue Chevy), one of which crashes onto the deck of a yacht.
Unfortunately, all of these supremely expressive vehicles come equipped with drivers, principally a pair of crash-test dummies played by Paul Walker and Tyrese, whose low-gear dialogue makes the whine of engines sound like the highest poetry.
To make a dumb story short, the two of them, boyhood friends who have grown up to be an ex-cop (Mr. Walker) and an ex-con (Tyrese), go undercover to help a sexy customs agent (Eva Mendes) snare a drug kingpin (Cole Hauser). The kingpin is eager to hire street racers to ferry his ill-gotten gains from one place to another, perhaps because brightly painted flame-shooting cars traveling at double the speed limit are unlikely to attract the attention of law enforcement. He might have done better with Buick-driving retirees, or carrier pigeons, but that would have been a different movie.
This one is a sequel to "The Fast and The Furious," the success of which helped propel Vin Diesel to stardom. Mr. Diesel and Rob Cohen, who directed the first movie, have moved on to the "XXX" franchise, leaving their successors choking on fumes. "2 Fast 2 Furious" is among the most lethargic action movies I have ever seen: when Mr. Walker and Tyrese are not driving, it might as well be called "2 Slow 2 Tedious," since the script shows all the energy and sophistication of an old episode of TJ Hooker.
But even the racing and chasing, which is what really matters in a picture like this, is clumsy and lame, about as viscerally exciting as the masterworks of eight-millimeter instructional cinema I was forced to watch in driver ed class back in high school. The basic editing scheme suggests a how-to video on manual shifting techniques. Step 1: depress the clutch. Step 2: yank the gearshift. Step 3: grimace and shout in the ethnic slang idiom of your choice. Repeat as necessary until you crash into something or find it advisable to activate the nitrogen-powered booster rockets, now available from your dealer as part of the special doofus hotrod sport package.
Mr. Singleton, whose limitations as an action director were also on display in the remake of "Shaft," at least seems to respect the beauty of cars, and also - though respect may be precisely the wrong word - that of women. Ms. Mendes and Devon Aoki have some lines to say, and Ms. Aoki is even permitted to drive. But mostly the women, like the cars, are around to fuel adolescent male fantasies and are similarly ogled, at leeringly low angles, by the camera.
"2 Fast 2 Furious" is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned) for some adult language, some violent scenes and a flagrant indifference to the basic principles of traffic safety.
2 FAST 2 FURIOUS
Directed by John Singleton; written by Michael Brandt and Derek Haas, based on a story by Gary Scott Thompson; director of photography, Matthew F. Leonetti; edited by Bruce Cannon and Dallas Puett; music by David Arnold; production designer, Keith Brian Burns; produced by Neil H. Moritz; released by Universal Pictures. Running time: 100 minutes. This film is rated PG-13.
WITH: Paul Walker (Brian O'Connor), Tyrese (Roman Pearce), Eva Mendes (Monica Fuentes), Cole Hauser (Carter Verone), Chris (Ludacris) Bridges (Tej), James Remar (Agent Markham) and Devon Aoki (Suki).
