Living Wills & Trusts-What's Right/Wrong?

[tomcatturbo]

Hi All, Living Wills, Trusts, Life and Death. Please tell me your opinions and if you have stories of your own, feel free to share. I am just devastated by recent events in my and my wife's life.... thanks so much in advance.

Here's my Wife's recent dilemma.

My wife's Mother who was married (high school sweethearts) for 54 Years, just recently passed away. Bless her heart, she passed from a lifetime battle of cancer at the age of 72 Years Old on her Birthday, October 7th 2008. Yes she passed away home in her own bed, on her Birthday.She was a really good, sweet woman, caretaker, and family patriarch.

A month and a week later, we had a funeral for her, and she was cremated, dust in a pretty, little bronze box. It was November 15th, and a sad day for all our family.

Literally, my Father in Law, or my wife's Dad seemed devastated by the loss. He was married for 54 years, and could hardly think of moving on. He even went to his attorney got all his Wills and Trusts in order and told my wife, he feels like jumping off a bridge. He was so sad... However-

New Years Eve, December 31st,, everthing changed. He went to a party where there's seniors, and met the love of his life! Literally, 2 weeks later, he planned a short 3 day vacation to the Keys during Martin Luther King weekend.

He called my Wife up a couple of days ago- January 20th to tell my wife he's engaged to be Married! ....What???

He called to tell my wife on January 21st Inauguration Day, that he bought a big diamond, is getting engaged, and that he plans to change his trust and living wills to include this person whom he met and knows for only 3 weeks. He's worth roughly 1/2 million dollars. He say's he's old school, and doesn't believe in protecting his assets, or keeping what's his (and my wife's Mom of 54 years together, very happily married). He's going to just put eveything together with this woman's assets. Problem is, he's going in all the way, and God only knows what this new "woman has in mind".


My wifes father I feel is out of touch. No Prenuptial agreements, nothing. This woman is 67 years old, has a lot of kids from 2 marriages, and now wants to sell her home (which is paid for) and shell out the money to the kids of her husband who recently passed away from a heart attack at 83 years old, and go to live in the Condo in Clearwater with my Father in Law, or Wifes Father. He had previously promised his children the condo (My wife and her 3 brothers), but this is all going to change very soon. Also, he believes that if he dies, then she gets it all, and his prior Wills/Trusts, and executors, are null and void.

Bottom Line:
My Wife will get nothing if her Father passes away now
If they get Divorced, then he's going to have to split all he owns 50/50

I have a headache for 2 days now, since hearing all about this. How can anyone work hard their whole lifetime, grieve hard for a couple weeks, and then decide to sign over everything to someone else's (in this case a stranger whom we haven't even physically met yet), life and their sons???

By the way, the new woman's son is an attorney.... nice. And not trying to say anything against lawyers or attorneys, but this seems so convenient.

Does this just seem wrong?? Help...

 

[TR Custom Parts]

Wow! Sounds like she found herself a sugar daddy. Sounds like he needs someone to set him straight. WHY does he even feel he needs to get married?? Unfortunately, your wife doesn't have a foot to stand on. He is going to do what he wants but it sure is a bit strange.

 

[Little6pack]

67 That does sound like a GOLD DIGGER to me.

Mistake #1 Sounds like the MOM should have had the money distributed to your wife, and any other siblings at her death. That way her crazy dad would only have 1/2 of the worth currently.

Next I hate to say it but it is his money not yours.. unfortunatly fools are parted from thier money quick.

Last: Have your wife ask dad for her cut now.

 

[DJ Red Barron]

I'm not sure what the state laws are in your area. But in Louisiana, I think if there is no will, the mother's half of everything belongs to the children once she dies.

Now if there is a will and it states the father gets her half, it's all his and there are no laws protecting the children.

All I can say is good luck. People do very strange things when loved ones die.

 

[Rivical]

Nicely explain that this is all too convenient and that it's 'old school' to be nobodies fool. If he will give you her SSN gotten to include her on his accounts you can hire a PI w/ your own money to quickly determine her history and advise. She will respect your background check to be his intellegence if her backstory checks out. Wish him well and expect nothing in return. All else failing and he passes you could probly tie it up in probate a good while.

 

[tomcatturbo]

Thanks...

So far you all seem so right on. On one hand I realize he's a grown man and has the right to do anything he wants with his life and money, but on the other hand it seems so out of his character to just allow himself to fall head over heels, and get married so quickly and not save or protect any of his current wills and assets for his own 3 boys and 1 girl (my wife).

On top of it, this woman (whom we haven't even physically seen yet), has not only got a beautiful diamond ring, but is planning a beautiful honeymoon in Hawaii, and wants my Wife to help her pick her wedding dress- ....the nerve of her.

I am embarrassed to even meet her. My wife is going to play along with everything and act happy, just not to offend her father. However, it's just asinine that he has the audacity to want to wed so dam fast. My wife is still grieving from her Mother's death, who was also her best friend. This seems utterly disrespectful with regards to how quickly the both of these people want to get married. Also, he doens't want "anyone else to know or be invited to this wedding". I find this completely odd and strange.

All I can say is Hallelujah. Get married, spend all your money for God's sake and go away. I hope he puts money away for his old age home, cause I have no intentions to ever take care of a creepy, selfish person like this. He's going to be 75 years old, and deserves to be happy. I absoultely don't deny that, and honestly I support that. BUT-

Working your whole life and not leaving a dam dime for your only daughter and 3 sons?? which by the way he's worth a nice bit - Is an absolute travesty. No legacy, nothing to leave behind. He absolutely loves his Grandkids. My kids are 7 and 4. However, he's going to leave all he has for his new wifes older sons, and her grandkids.

I don't want nothing. I don't like to expect something. However, I'm not foolish either. I could NEVER do something like that to my kids. Unless I was passive-aggressive, or didn't like my own kids.

Lesson Learned here: I'm going to have my Living Will Made and A Living Trust, looked over. I'm going to make sure my Wife and Kids are taken care of if I was to die. They won't have to worry. Even my Car, Motorcycle, Boat and all my tangibles are going to be updated and put in my 2 sons names. I don't want nobody fighting or feeling bad if I die.

I like what one person said- My Mother in Law, should of had the power to execute half her estate in the event of her death or major future life changes. I like that, and I feel that should of been done. I didn't think my Father In Law was going to lose his mind... He's always been so sensible.
Perhaps, just purely passive-aggressive in the worst way.

 

[tomcatturbo]

Yeah, exactly. My father in law has had the "zipper" Open heart surgery, and has to take Nitroglycerin for his heart now. She on the other hand works out, is 115 lbs, and is very young looking and acting. On top of that, she's got a nice set of boobs, for whatever this is worth.

My Father in Law is swept up like a foolish kid. Someone I truly admired, has become blinded by beauty.

My wife couldn't ask for nothing now. He doesn't plan or intend to give out anything now at all. However, this new woman plans on selling her beautiful home, and giving 2 of her sons the money now. Does this sound fair?? Geez... She's a smart woman. I should high five her when I see her and tell her congratulations for hitting the jackpot! "Ugghh.... Oy Vey. Madonne me..."

GOLD DIGGER- yeah, you got it right. What a shame... I could hardly care if I ever see the man again. But for my wife and kids sake. I have to.





67 That does sound like a GOLD DIGGER to me.

Mistake #1 Sounds like the MOM should have had the money distributed to your wife, and any other siblings at her death. That way her crazy dad would only have 1/2 of the worth currently.

Next I hate to say it but it is his money not yours.. unfortunatly fools are parted from thier money quick.

Last: Have your wife ask dad for her cut now.

 

[TR Custom Parts]

Well, all I can say is she must be able to suck a golf ball thru a garden hose, no other explaination for it. He is thinking with the wrong head I guess.