little humor for you guys

[tenright]

Today the heat subsided a bit and I decided to attack the latest tidbits on my car. One of the things I did was to remove the MAF translator to set it and then remounted it. The translator is mounted on the drivers side fenderwell. While remounting it I lost a nut, after searching a bit and not finding it I just figured it went into the crossmember and got another. Later I was setting the fuelpressure and descided to back the car up a bit to get more room. I left my shop light hanging from the hood and started to back it up a bit, the light cord got caught by the balancer for a split second, only enough to scuff the cord a bit. I stopped the car and moved the light out of the way. Then when I tried to back up again the car would go about 2 feet and stop like the tires where blocked. OK I put it in Nuetral and same thing 2 feet or so and stop. Hmmmm this is perplexing, I put it in drive and it would go foward, then reverse....2 feet and stop, nuetral...2 feet and stop. Ok now I'm getting pissed....not to mention I am nose in the garage.

So now friends are showing up and everyone has an idea of whats wrong

Disconnect power from the tranny (no change)
readjusted the quarter stick (no change)
Dropped the pan no (parts or metal)

Jacked up the rear and it works fine in the air...put it back on the ground 2 feet stop

So now we have 3 rednecks scatching heads and all agreeing this is the strangest behavior any have seen from a tranny and we should just pull it. (how many rednecks does it take to pull a tranny)

Just what I wanted to do..pull the freakin tranny....Well with a clearer head I got to thinking about this..how could it work in the air, and not on the ground?????? Then I remembered the nut...nah couldn't be..how could that little nut cause this...well easy enough to check jacked up the front end and spun the tire...quarter spin and stop, spun it the other way and out pops the nut.....

Some days it's just better to walk away



T

 

[imjoesnuffy]

know what you mean

I had something along those lines happen to me about 3 weeks ago. I was in the garage changing the fuel filter in my GN. My 6 yr old son came down to the garage too. He wanted to help, so I just had him handing me wrenches. He was just moving back and forth between the front of the car and the toolbox. I was even having him work on his numbers by telling him, hand me the one that has the 5 and the 8 on it, and so forth. Well a friend came over as I was finishing up, so we three pile into the car.

Get to the end of the drive, and to show him what's what I build boost and take off in a rapid fashion.

About 4 seconds later......KABAM!!!. Immediately I look in my rear view expecting to see pieces of something hitting the road. I pull over immediately. We get out all looking under the car, checking for leaks, pieces hanging from the bottom of the car, that sort of thing. Couldnt find anything. So I reach back into the car to pop the hood. I then move around to release the hood, and then I see it.

A nice and shiny new hood ornament, a craftsman 1/2" wrench sticking through the hood.

I guess my son sat it on the radiator shroud up top while I was working under the car, I wasnt doing anything up there. I got distracted by my friend and didnt think to check. As I accelerated I guess the wrench came up and over the radiator shroud, then dropped onto the fan and bacame an instant projectile.

 

[JOELO'S T-TYPE]

A nice and shiny new hood ornament, a craftsman 1/2" wrench sticking through the hood.

Let me get this straight, now you have a hole in your car's hood?

 

[tenright]

sounds like a good place to mount a gauge


T

 

[tb3]

When I was installing my new headers a month or so back, I raised the front end pretty far up in the air to put on jacks. With the hood up, I wasn't going to clear the light bulb on the ceiling, so me being the snappy little thinker, removes the bulb, finishes jacking my car a couple more inches, then reinstalls the bulb with about a 1/2 inch clearance from the hood latch.

Jobs all done, I go to downjack, and guess what I forgot to do? Yep, a loud pop, I'm in the dark, and theres sharp lightbulb fragments all over the engine compartment.

 

[tenright]

hey this is a better thread then I thought it was gonna be...keep em comming after this season of mods we could all use a good chuckle...



T

 

[JOELO'S T-TYPE]

OK I've got two of them.

In my old car, I was working under it with my father, we were using a light bulb with a cone-shaped reflector type of thing surrounding it, I'm bad describing it but I think you know what I'm talking about anyways, the power cord was getting loose and it was causing problems. In one of those ocations that it got loose the contacts were exposed. My father had his arm stretcher all the way to get it and he accidentally touched the exposed part of the cord. As his arm contracted because of the shock, he had the thing on his hand and I was inches from him, he nailed me clean in my forehead with the cone part that I mentioned before, the whole thing broke in pieces in my head, thank God the sharp fragments didn't get in my eyes. The cone wasnt so cone-shaped after that, lol


The other time I was torquing down the crossmember of my old mitsubishi, I was using a long bar to torque it down, when I used both hands to torque the thing down (MAJOR ROOKIE MISTAKE), the wrench got loose from the bolt and I hit my own head with the bar with the same force that I was torquing the bolt. I woke up about 5 minutes after it and I had a bag of ice on my head and my shirt was a bit bloody, but Im ok now, I think..

 

[JOELO'S T-TYPE]

I guess after reading this I shouldn't ask for your help working with me in my car right.... :biggrin:

 

[motordoctor40]

yeah thats what i was thinking hahahahaha

 

[imjoesnuffy]

Let me get this straight, now you have a hole in your car's hood?

Yep

150 spent for a new (used)hood. In stead of a gauge, I was thinking of a snorkel type cold air kit.

 

[fgordon]

I guess after reading this I shouldn't ask for your help working with me in my car right.... :biggrin:

Sounds like your head takes a real beating. You might try wearing a helmet. :biggrin:

 

[my85grandnation]

This didnt happen to me and it didnt even happen on a turbo car but here is what happen. My friend has a 76 Nova that the engine siezed up and wouldt turn over so we decided we would just start disasembling it to see what happened. Anyways one day when I wasnt there he had one of our friends come over who is the biggest nascar watching, bumbling talking, redneck we know. My buddy tells him to start taking out the intake bolts so he starts at the back of the engine with a socket and ratchet. He gets the rear bolt out about halfway and he then realizes he has gotten the ratchet stuck beneath the distributor in such a way that you cant reach the top of it to reverse the direction of it, so it is just stuck there. To make matters worse the ratchet is also blocking the bolt to loosen the distributor to remove it.

 

[jhanson1750]

OK guys I'm gonna tell on myself. This happened when I was the hot age of 20. I had bought a 72 1/2 camero split bumper car when I got out of basic training. I get home from Georga to Texas and decide to "freshen up" the small block. Jack up the car and then the motor and pull the pan. We did make good time, about 4 hours later new rod and main bearings. Reinstall the oil pan, exhaust, tranny dust shield and add fresh oil and filtere. I jump in the car and in the seat I see the torque specs for the rod and mains........ I had rebuilt the bottom end and she was completely finger tight!! 5 hours later after rechecking EVERYTHING we were up and runing again. Wiped a cam lobe 9 days later.