emissions monkeys

B

buickbert

Member
Joined
May 15, 2005
so after fighting with my big block car to get it through emissions (long story)
two weeks ago, this past week it was time for the gn.

i crawled underneath it and took out the dump and reinstalled the cat, no big deal. i crusie over to the emissions testing place and the fun begins.

i pull in and encounter the first dip chit.

EMISSIONS GUY: what year is the car sir?
ME: 87
EM GUY: pop the hood please

moron looks with his mirror under the car then starts looking at the engine with a puzzled look on his face,

EM GUY: 2 problems, you only have 1 cat and is that a turbocharger?
ME: the cars on only supposed to have 1 and yes
(captain obvious) it is a turbo
EM GUY: i dont think its supposed to be there
ME: yes it is, this car was factory turbocharged.
EM GUY: theres no way this car came with a turbo from the factory
and should have 2 cats
ME: listen man, its supposed to be there, im not going
to argue with you, can you please call your supervisor

enter supervisor

EM SUP: whats the problem here
EM GUY: this guy has a turbo on this car,
and only 1 cat im going to have to fail it
due to equipment violations
EM SUP: sir, what year is the car?
ME: its a 1987 buick grand national (at this point im
starting to get angry)
EM SUP: i seriously doubt this car was factory
turbocharged.
ME: AND I SERIOUSLY DOUBT EITHER OF YOU KNOW
ANYTHING EXCEPT HOW TO PUSH A
BUTTON.
EM SUP: calm down sir
ME: listen, i know you guys have a book here that will
have the necessary information in it, i advise
you to go get it.
EM SUP: ok, i will (with a smug little look on his face)

comes back with this 3 ring binder and starts to flip through it.

EM SUP: what year is it again?
ME: gritting my teeth------------1987
EM SUP: what size engine?
ME: 3.8 just like the emblem on the hood says

skims through his book

EM SUP: oh....................hes right on both :frown:
ME: :biggrin: excuse me, what was that?
EM SUP: your right, everything is correct.
ME: knowledge is power
EM SUP: pull forward..............

guess he didnt have much else to say, good thing he didnt say he was sorry as i would have told him to kick rocks with that garbage.
but it doesnt end there. i pull forward on the rollers and the emissions guy #2 grabs the door handle:

EM GUY #2: exit the vechile sir
ME: for what?
EM GUY #2: i need to complete this part of the test
ME: thats not going to happen, your not gettting in this
car, start the test

em guy #2 starts the test and grabs his highlighter, needless to say the car passed w/o any trouble so he got a disgusted look on his face and handed me my paperwork, down the road i went.


buickbert
 
Try this, One year I was getting my car smoged. I was worried about the visual, because useally thats what fails on these cars, because individuals like in your case dont know what they are looking at.

This particular time, the emissions guy got into my car drove it around to the garage door of the shop (cause he wouldn't let me stay in the car), and proceeded to place the car on the Dyno. Everything was great, EXCEPT...he placed the front wheels on the dyno, and attemped to dyno the car. I shouted to STOP, and he looked at me and said "I know what I'm doing". I said "NO YOU DONT....ITS A REAR WHEEL DRIVE CAR" He looks at me puzzled and said "It is!??!?!?!" WOW......Thats all I pretty much had to say....

Your story is a good one! :D
 
Thats the main reason...

I keep my turbo buicks registered at my house in AZ.
no smog insp, no one touching my cars,
 
I got tired of the hassel they gave me every year....I now have classic insurance so I do have to do emissions
 
Way2QWK said:
I got tired of the hassel they gave me every year....I now have classic insurance so I do have to do emissions
Click to expand...



whats the skinny on that? is there a mileage limit per year? i drive my car to school and work and everywhere else i need to go.

buickbert
 
Most classic insurance companys restrict using the car for daily use. Since mine is a garage queen it works for me
 
Every test that I have had to endure THEY drive the car not me and since all my vehicles are now test only I really dont like it. And in CA cars become test only by year not random like they say.
$70 now thats about $3 per month added tax not counting my time and license fees.

I worked with a guy from AZ and when there he had a crotch rocket that was exempt. But every year he had to have it tested and it would fail he then had to make a appt with a ref and they would look it up and exempt it. royal PITA.
 
Turbo Buicks are all "Test Only" due to being a "High Emitter Profile" straight out of the factory. I have been Test Only on all of my turbo Buicks for about the last 10 or 12 years. I don't think that there is a year denominator yet, other than the rolling calendar requirements / allowances.
 
Both my cars are insured with State Farm as classic cars and are emissions exempt...stipulation is that I'm only supposed to use the cars for shows...little cruising...etc...but in the years I've had the coverage they never have checked the mileage on my cars...
 
Do your homework on the "Collector Insurance". I looked into it several years back, and all have some restrictions that are the same restrictions, and all have some restrictions that are unique to that particular insurance company / policy. All require locked garages, & generally pictures of where the car will be stored, some have age restrictions of the car, and virtually none at that time would allow turbo Buicks other than GN. Turbo-T's they would not allow. Very hard in some states to get a "stated value" insurance policy.
 
I had a similar situation with my buick. I had to look through his books with him to show him that it came with a turbocharger. Its all stock so i have nothing to hide.

I go through the same thing with my Trans Am. Amazing how paranoid these people are.
 
Reply

iwantatta said:
I had a similar situation with my buick. I had to look through his books with him to show him that it came with a turbocharger. Its all stock so i have nothing to hide.

I go through the same thing with my Trans Am. Amazing how paranoid these people are.
Click to expand...
If you think smogging your car is a pain. Try running a smog station I did for years. Your constantly required to go for several different tests. They keep changing the law & having to invest in new equipment. Mechanics that hold licenses think they are Gods & hard to keep hired & yes they are paranoid. You have big brother constantly watching over you with the fear of of losing your license getting fined or even jailed for very little profit & pissed off people when they failed. A thankless job for sure & the only thing for certain is its only going to get worst. This whole thing is structured to make money for the government & the jack ass's that voted for Obama by the way invited even more of this upon themselves.
 
All my cars and my sons cars became "Test only" at ~10 years of age the latest being the 97 tbird 4.6 last April.
Our fleet inc, 3 TPI Firebirds, 1 TPI grand prix, 1 94 G30 van with 350TBI, 92 ranger 4 banger.

Until it was outside the program my 73 ford F250 was always a hassle. It was built in 72 and did not have some of the emissions stuff put on 73's made after Jan 1 1973. Originally the laws were effective Jan 1, not model year.

And I love the 18 inch needle nose hose crimps to test the evap system. Per the CARB "This test does minimal damage to the vehicles emissions components, compliance far outweighs any damage and repairs costs incurred buy the vehicle owner". Tell you what CARB, clamp that thing on your ***** and lets talk minimal damage.
 
Reply

injdinjn said:
All my cars and my sons cars became "Test only" at ~10 years of age the latest being the 97 tbird 4.6 last April.
Our fleet inc, 3 TPI Firebirds, 1 TPI grand prix, 1 94 G30 van with 350TBI, 92 ranger 4 banger.

Until it was outside the program my 73 ford F250 was always a hassle. It was built in 72 and did not have some of the emissions stuff put on 73's made after Jan 1 1973. Originally the laws were effective Jan 1, not model year.

And I love the 18 inch needle nose hose crimps to test the evap system. Per the CARB "This test does minimal damage to the vehicles emissions components, compliance far outweighs any damage and repairs costs incurred buy the vehicle owner". Tell you what CARB, clamp that thing on your penis and lets talk minimal damage.
Click to expand...
Please some Buick owners will try anything suggested here.I don't think you would want to be responsible for anyone's self castration due to your post. I think Gary should immediately lock this thread.
 
Wow after reading this CHIT I am glad I am in NH.. My emmisions check is they look to see a cat is on. If they feel like bending over. I went in with the test pipe one year he never looked. $10 & i was out the door in 10 mins. :D I feel sorry for what you guys have to go thru. :(
 
turbolou said:
If you think smogging your car is a pain. Try running a smog station I did for years. Your constantly required to go for several different tests. They keep changing the law & having to invest in new equipment. Mechanics that hold licenses think they are Gods & hard to keep hired & yes they are paranoid. You have big brother constantly watching over you with the fear of of losing your license getting fined or even jailed for very little profit & pissed off people when they failed. A thankless job for sure & the only thing for certain is its only going to get worst. This whole thing is structured to make money for the government & the jack ass's that voted for Obama by the way invited even more of this upon themselves.
Click to expand...

Guess thats why you see mostly smog only stations now. Probably need to start writing letters to there big brother to let them know what is going on. Find it pretty ridiculous that he was about to send me elsewhere to get it smogged. They might as well outlaw turbochargers on cars in the state of california because most of these guys suspect its been tampered with.
 
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