Sobriety, how did you do it?

[JOHNDEEREGN]

I have been a a HEAVY beer drinker for 15 years. I am now 35. I mean I am not a mean drunk, just LOVE to drink. I come from a long list of alcoholics. I have a wonderful wife, 2 lovely young boys, a great income, and attend church very regularly. I dont cheat on my wife, beat my kids, or anything likr that. I have been trying to quit drinking for a year or so, and can go all week (which is a miracle in itself) but on Fri/Sat nights OH MAN. I grab a case of beer and head home and jump right in the box of beer. I go NUTS without it. I know, to most this sounds stupid, and you may think I am weak or something but this really sucks. My wife and kids were at her parents visiting last night and I stayed home to work today. I STAYED completely sober. The 1st time in our marrage she has been gone and I stayed sober. Please say a prayer and if you have any advice feel free to post. She said I could get a new VMAX if I quit drinking, but I still cant

 

[NJTurbo]

Do you like the taste of Beer or how you feel when you are done, or both.

 

[bruce]

Just quit.
Might take a couple times, but give it your best shot and just walk away from it.

There's a book called Quantum Healing, that you might read. It answers alot about how your body handles addictions. Least for me it made quiting several things easy.

Eventually it will cost you at least your health.
If not everything that you love and hold dear.

I hope you suceed.
It ain't easy.

 

[JOHNDEEREGN]

Thanks Guys

Bruce,
I will get the book and read it, THANKS.

Travis-
I love the BUZZ feeling, and the taste. I am damn strong willed with everything except this, I believe i WILL get over it.
Thanks for the help-
Ty

 

[striker_29]

I am 31, and I knock em back on a regular basis. Hell, almost all of my friends drink on a regular basis, some daily. If I stopped drinking, I would be in a minority around here. Drinking alcohol is just such a socially acceptable, and prevalent occurence, that its almost expected it seems. I cant think of many events that its not a major part of. Sporting events, any kind of party or social gathering, cookouts, you name it. As far as quitting goes, I dont accept the premise that AA meetings and 12 step programs are the "only answer" for everybody. I think one thing that would help you deal with stress and sleep well at night, is a well planned workout routine. You would probably be surprised how much some excercise would help, good luck...Mark

 

[JOHNDEEREGN]

Thank you

Mark, the 12 stepper doesnt work for me, just my opinion. I need to do it cold turkey and be done. Thanks for the help.

 

[NJTurbo]

Just go cold turkey, lock yourself in a room and listen to Elvis for a few days. His 70's stuff sad and mellow. Good Luck Brother, i cannot give advice as my father was a alcoholic and i told myself when i get older and have kids, i would never put them in this environment. I have a few here and there only at gatherings, keeps the pounds off to. Good Luck you know we are here to help you.

 

[Two Lane]

THE FIRST STEP IN RESOLVING A PROBLEM IS RECOGNIZING YOU HAVE ONE

Congratulations for recognizing you have a problem that requires attention now, not "someday...now, for some purposeful action!
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Here's a challenge for you that will be a "test" of sorts:

Find an A.A. chapter near you this week...they are EVERYWHERE...and this coming Friday & Saturday, instead of hitting the booze, attend meetings both nights.

The people that have decided to live their life alcohol-free can help you second only to yourself.

They will help you to see things clearly---divorced from the lies within/around alcoholism---and deal with the beast honestly, head-on, one day at a time.

It is considered a disease, but one you have the power to overcome. Be thankful...you can't simply decide to "quit" most diseases.

Your family-tree suggests a possible genetic link, as well as alcohol being a daily reality in your family growing up...as if that's just something "normal" & O.K...but none of that matters now.

Living alcohol-free, one day at a time, is Priority #1, not re-hashing its roots. Alcohol becomes the past, not the now, and now is all any of us have.
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While you live right now for the Friday & Saturday drinking, ask yourself:

How do the people who love me most feel about me choosing to spend most of my weekly free-time with them under the influence? And then, ask them, one-by-one, privately.
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Jack Cotton has a very inspirational story about his decision to leave alcohol behind, and its impact on his life. Jack enjoys a legendary standing in the TR world...very well-deserved. I think #1 with Jack is...HONESTY...in everything, beginning with himself.

Jack's in Massachusetts, but I am 150% sure he would be very honored to help hook-you-up with A.A. near you, and in any/every other way, to help you succeed in your decision.
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I hope you will accept this challenge.

If you do, you'll be one of the LUCKY ones!

Pulling for you, TL

 

[Two Lane]

P.S.

No other method, procedure, or process comes any where close to helping people get free from booze, and stay off, than A.A.

Nothing close. Studied, researched, proven time & time & time again for the last 40 years.
===========================================

So, since you asked, "WHAT WORKS?", A.A. is the leading pathway to sobriety.
===========================================

Many feel this success come from the peer-assistance/support network, while others point out how effective & simple the principles are to understand (but so commonly overlooked).

From my awareness of how A.A. has helped hundreds I have known, I think in addition to the above, participating in A.A. does more than anything else to help the person confront the "LIES" within themselves that make alcoholism & other self-destructive addictive behariors so very unlikely to overcome, otherwise.

Good Luck!

 

[NJTurbo]

Wow Two Lane did his homework once again a great post by a great guy.

Two Lane ROCKS!!!!

 

[JOHNDEEREGN]

NJ and TL..

Thanks to all of you, and to a fellow TB.COM board member who emailed me "offline". It is great to have a bunch of everyday guys that maybe have never met in person, but it shure feels like we are all "high school buddies" from days gone by. Thanks fellas,
Especially to Two Lane for dropping a bag of bricks on my head (good bricks that is ) and thanks to the gentleman that emailed me off line.
Ty

 

[NJTurbo]

Re: NJ and TL..

Originally posted by JOHNDEEREGN
Thanks to all of you, and to a fellow TB.COM board member who emailed me "offline". It is great to have a bunch of everyday guys that maybe have never met in person, but it shure feels like we are all "high school buddies" from days gone by. Thanks fellas,
Especially to Two Lane for dropping a bag of bricks on my head (good bricks that is ) and thanks to the gentleman that emailed me off line.
Ty

I like Kansas cool chicks

 

[galoush]

Hey dont kidd your self , if stopping bad habits were that easy then there wouldnt be A.A / N.A ,rehabs that heathcare cover which tells you this is a legigt thing not a lack of willpower on your part , can some people just stop cold turkey , yes . Can most NO . You cant stop for anyone but yourself and thats hard enough . I dont claim to be an authority on the subject but having tried stopping on two occasions , after attending counseling and mettings too , its not easy at all even with that kind of support . The longest i ever had sober was 3 mos. Finally one day i just decided i wanted to " party" again . I dont drink every day im more like once a week but when i do i have about 15 beers . Ive held my job for 11years i dont miss work and i pay all my bills , but am i an Alcoholic , yes . Hey everything isnst so cut and dry you know.I could go into this alot more but that wasnt my point .Good luck whatever you do , Hey not to be a wise a$$ but have a drink on me or dont

 

[galoush]

Ohh and Two Lane gave you the best advice , more or less my point but well you get the idea.

 

[TurboMike]

I was a drunk from about the age of 14 to my early 20's. I drank every Friday and Saturday night at first...then during the day on Sunday. Then sometimes after work...then at lunch time.. then sometimes in the morning. I went from beer to wine to liquor to pure grain. I would take pure grain and mix it with beer then chase it with beer. If i didn't have much money, some qualudes and a couple beers would feel like a case and "hit the spot". Even tried rubbing alcohol.
I got to where i had blood in my urine, almost loosing my job, and running from the police (driving drunk). Most my friends that know me know, didn't know me then. I have alcoholism on both sides of my family, and it eventually killed my grandfather (liver disease).

Why did I drink? to get drunk, to get the buzz, it wasn't the taste. The year i was suppose to graduated I got plastered and waited for people coming out of the school that DID graduate and tried to start something with them. That night my "friends" dropped me off at my house but i couldn't make it up the hill. I feel into the creek and there I laid for hours...not hurt, but too drunk to get up.

Anyway...how did I stop? First thing was I met my wife. I put her first in my life instead of my "buzz". I usually didn't drink after I was married except Christmas, 4th, birthday, Bowling Green and Buicks in Bristol. After my children were born I stopped even more. I didn't come to a complete stop till after the BG trip in May of '98. We partied the entire time spending all night in the strip clubs. After I returned home God convicted me and I had to reflect on who i was (to myself) who i was (in my wife and children's eyes) and who I am (in God's eyes). On May of 1998 I gave my life to Christ and haven't touched it since. Matter of fact I hate even the thought of it. To me it was a physical problem, emotional problem and just a blanket to cover up my life. I had seen so many others try to "fix" their problems and I assumed it would work for me. I am now 36, married, two wonderful girls, my step-daughter just graduated high school, I am a youth pastor at my church working with close to 100 youth (which is ALOT in our small rural area). I find it funny when I talk to a youth about drinking and they say, "I need to talk to you about drinking. I'm not sure you'll understand but......"

I don't post much anymore but thought i'd chime in on this..

Phi 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

 

[bruce]

Originally posted by Two Lane

No other method, procedure, or process comes any where close to helping people get free from booze, and stay off, than A.A.

No one system is perfect or works for everyone.
When you tie all your hopes on one way, if you fail at that, one might quit trying rather then look for an alternative.

Not a knock on AA, just that there are other systems.

While a support network works for some, not everyone likes that atmosphere. And I'm sure chapters vary some.

Lots of variables, bottom line it's the person, will, to truely succeed.

Another good book is *The Games People Play*.
Some folks have long term goals about getting sick, or trashing their lives. Understanding one's self makes any program or any behavior modification a ton easier, IMO.

 

[FAMLYKAR]

Been there, am there....

Hey there Johndeeregn,

It takes courage to admit a "problem or weakness" in our macho culture.

I give you credit for having courage. Courage defined as, "being afraid and doing it anyway."

Life is nothing but a series of problems to be solved. You can whine about them or you can solve them.

Weakness is saying, "I don't have any problems, you're the problem not me."

We are all fragile as human beings. One unfortunate fall and we are paralized and in a wheel chair for life.

The wrong kind of germs and some microscopic one celled animals kill you.

Your wife or kids die and how strong do you feel now?

I am a recovering alcoholic and dope fiend. I have stayed clean for over 10 years and have gone back out for 4 years, and back clean again for a while. Life is difficult.

I am in Lawrence, Kansas now getting ready to drive to the Nationals in Bowling Green.

I am just as happy to talk to anyone at any time about staying clean as I am about talking Buick Turbo stuff.

I recommend "The Road Less Travelled" as a personal guide to anyone wanting to walk a Spiritual path in life. Explains the true meaning of Love as the work of:
Discipline, patience, attention, and responsibility. These are the keys to walking a Spiritual path and true happiness.

Blah, blah, blah.................

I'm ready for a meeting in Bowling Green.

Todd Borsuk
FAMLY KAR

 

[Gmachine]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in supporting your decision. I can't say that I have ever had a problem such as addiction, but have made some huge herdles in my life that I am most proud of. When making such a huge step you really find out who your friends are and who you can always count on. This will lend you to meeting new people and better friends will come out of this too. It seems like a good decision all around.

Ryan

 

[RossGN]

If your not really ready to attend an A.A. meeting, let me suggest that you just buy the book "Alcoholics Anonymous", or check it out from the library. There are many stories of different experiences and you may just find yourself in there (or may not).

Ross

 

[JoeHorvith]

JD, to want to stop drinking is a step in the right direction... I went to AA for three years all though I did not drink I was still on a dry drunk..... One day at work I was talking to a guy who I use to drink with and asked him why he was so happy all the time and not drink???? He quoted from the book of John, that Jesus would give living stream of water where I would thrist no more.... He then gave me a pocket size bible and told me to read the book of John.... That was 24 years ago, and I have not drank in 27 years... Hang in there, to have a miracle you have to believe in that miracle...
Joe Horvith.... Noslo6