Anyone have Goof off at work stories?

[URSPANKED]

Oh, yeah...one more...

We would take a short piece of 1/4" rubber tubing and put a small piece of dry ice in it (about the size of a pea) and clamp it off on both ends. Then put it in someone's desk drawer. That thing would sound like a firecracker when it went off!

 

[Little6pack]

ttt : Great stories I was howling away at some of them.

 

[kenmosher]

A coworker that was kind of a dork had decided to "pursue other opportunities" and we had always enjoyed playing jokes on him. We were truly sad to see him leave, since our favorite target would no longer be available.

As our biggest and best and final prank, we waited until he was being "out processed" (doing the final HR stuff, turning in badges, signing papers, etc. and was in the interior conference room without windows) and ran out to his car in the parking lot (a piece of junk Citation).

We took some wire and some spade clips and jury rigged the fuse box so that the brake light switch would power the horn circuit. After some gyrations under the dash, upside down and cussing, we ran back into the building for the obligatory "cake and goodbyes" and watched expectantly at the window while he trudged out to his ride.

Now, mind you, I would have been highly suspicious of almost the entire company watching out the windows ... but I guess he just thought he was popular!

He gets in, turns the key and starts to back out ... amidst the horn tootling away every time he stepped on the brakes. We were in total stitiches!

Much to our amazement, he DROVE OFF! Honking at every stoplight!

Later we find out that he pulled up to a stopsign behind some pretty rough characters on his way home. They thought he was honking at them and he very nearly got beat up! They actually opened his hood and ripped the wires off the HORN! Poor ol' John took his car to a mechanic the next day and we never did hear if he found out the truth!

 

[URSPANKED]

That was hilarious!
OK, last one, I promise. While working in the lab, there was this guy who just asked for things to be pulled on him, because he would get so upset.
One evening, he was looking for his hard hat so he could go out on the sample run. He found it in the 650 deg. sample oven. It looked like a flat, white plate. It was so funny. He didn't laugh, though.

 

[DCVING 6]

How about sleeping at work?

A favorite story of mine (one I heard somewhere, not me who did it).

A guy would close his office door, dump a bunch of paperclips on the floor by the door and curl up for a nap right infront of the door. If the door was opened, it wouldn't open far enough for the person to see him sleeping before it bumped him and would jump awake. Then he would just tell them he dropped the box of paper clips and was picking them up.

 

[2QUIK6]

How about visiting the TB.com bulletin boards/forums? hehe You know most of you are at work right now reading this
*
Just reminded me once when I was working at M&M Mars up in Jersey, I went to the can one morning, and some dude was crashed out on the crapper snoring...so I told one of my co-workers that worked there full time, he went in there and tossed a cup of water over the wall on the guy and ran out. Then we waited down the hall to see who it was walking out with water spots all over them!!! It was hilarious, luckily it wasn't his boss.

 

[xlr8ngn]

I worked at an ammunition factory during college and we made blank ammunition for some of the theme parks. There was a new neighborhood being built about 300 feet from our building and there were some prospects there with the agent. My buddy and I staged a fake gun battle as they were looking at the back of the house. First, we yelled at each other to get their attention. We then drew down on each other with the blank ammunition and started firing away. We were ducking and hiding behind cars and really playing it up. After we emptied, I sped off in my car and he limped inside the building like he was shot. Needless to say, those people disappeared.

 

[troGNman]

I work in a lab environment and safety glasses are mandatory.

A coworker had a pair of the funky thick black rim glasses and he would place them down on his workbench and leave the lab for a few minutes. That was a big mistake. This was the perfect opportunity to take a black magic marker and outline the rim of his glasses. The black wouldn't show while he was wearing them, but when he removed the glasses it was hilarious.

The same coworker got me back by taking the same black magic marker and put a thick coat of ink on the phone receiver and mouthpiece, which BTW was black also. The SOB phoned me from a lab across the hallway with a few bystanders watching on.
Little did I know what all the commotion was about until I used the restroom later in the day.

As far as goofing off......we used to play "office chair bumper cars".
Take 3 or 4 grow men and put them in a large warehouse and have at it. You would propel yourself as fast as you could backwards into your opponent. Good times.

 

[Drac0nic]

Not entirely a goof off story, but I was working on a motor mount for my project during work today. Everything's goin good, till I get to the last hole. The drill starts slipping, and thinking nothing of it I press on. Well, to make a long story short, with a thud the chuck came off the drill! After shoving it back on long enough to get my last hole done, I walked away non chalantly.

 

[Little6pack]

Originally posted by troGNman

As far as goofing off......we used to play "office chair bumper cars".
Take 3 or 4 grow men and put them in a large warehouse and have at it. You would propel yourself as fast as you could backwards into your opponent. Good times.

HOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! office bumper chair


When I worked as stock person at grocery store as teen we would cut packages of chips or somthing good with our boxcutters. (pre camera age)

Every stock person would pass the word to which asile the item was in. We did this all night long boy was that fun. Chips, candy all night long.

At other times we use to put out the bad fruit & veggies in the back of the store. When we had break or our shift was over we would lob the fruit over the store toward the street peg the MBTA buses.

 

[2QUIK6]

Oh yeah, Turkey bowling!!
Grab a Butterball turkey, and when you see someone standing down one of the isle at the grocery store, throw it like a bowling ball toward them and try to hit their legs before they notice it coming...of course when the store was closed

Used to do a simliar thing with the box cutters accidentally on purpose cut something open and eat it, or spill the beer cart and open and drink as many beers as you could while cleaning it up..becuase the last thing you did at night before closing was fill the beer cabnit so it would be cold the next morning.

 

[gofstbuick]

Love them grocery store stories. I too used to work in a grocery store. We used to marinate steaks and wrap them in aluminum foil. Then turn the meat wrapping machine temp up to 450 degrees and broil steaks. Un-wrap em and make steak sandwiches. The meat dept always complained when they found the meat warpping machine temps turned up so high .

 

[Little6pack]

this thread was funny so I TTT

 

[Hacksaw]

At one place I worked the evening guy in charge of Security escorts would take an empty one of those 1 gallon plastic (chem lab type) of alcohol, put a chunk of dry ice in it, and put it in a dumpster. About 20 minutes later it would go up with a boom like an M-80! Regular Security Guards would come hauling up, but couldn't find what happened.

At another place, there was 4 different shifts so the place would run 24/7. A couple of guys used to "sabotauge" their former Supervisor's phone at his desk (he was one a different shift), doing things like turning the volume all the way up or down, or adjust the message playback speed slower or faster, forwarding his calls to just someone at random, etc. This Supervisor was clueless on how the phone adjustment menu worked, so eventually he started locking his phone in his desk when he wasn't there! :biggrin:

gofstbuick: At one of the places I worked there was an extra process oven they didn't need, so the workers in that area turned the temperature on it way up to use it as a warming over for lunches. But, some unsuspecting person put some work parts in it by accident, ruining the parts.

 

[Big Mike]

I used to get a whole pack of firecrackers and get a lit cigarette and put the master (main) wick and poke it into the base of the cigarette.It's like a 4 minute timer.Leave the firecrackers and cigarette on the ground(usually near a coffee shop door were the ricer hang out) and walk away. Walk over to my car with the rest of the guys and sit and wait. 4 or 5 minutes go by and BOOM!
Coffee all over the place! One guy hit the ground like it was a drive by shooting.We all laughed our heads off.It was funnier when the cops were there giving the ricer kids crap for their loud music... I would walk over and do the same thing and the cops would give them more crap and bar them from the parking lot for the night!
Ya ..this was fun!

 

[Big Mike]

Or at the gyms.
I would break in the new staff by telling them that every two hours, they would have to go into the mens and ladies changeroom with a white garbage bag and do a air sample.They would have to open the bag and trap air in it and seal it.Write their name and time on a piece of paper and tape it to the bag.Then they would have to leave it the manager office for him to drive it to the main head office.This would happen on a 12 hour shift at the gym and usually a afternoon shift.Imagine the managers face when he walked into his office the next morning with 12 or 13 white bags of air marked AIR SAMPLE with time and the persons name . I did this to every new employee in 20 of the gyms I work in.
The managers would call me on my cell and laugh their heads off!

 

[JP87GN]

I work at a bodyshop and pranks go on all the time, Well one day I go out to my T-type after work and right off the bat I see something on my rear bumper, It was a static rainbow sticker , so I peel it off and say nothing. next day I'm determind to payback someone. I found out it was the young detailer. he found it in a car an thought it would be funny. So I get a paint stick and go find some dog crap and scoup a little and apply it to the backside of his drivers door handle on his little Honda. I told the other guys in the shop what I did and we were laughing all week about it. I don't get mad, I get even!

 

[2QUIK6]

k, hope my old boss doesn't read this that was 15 years ago.

Well, was just in the place last week, they are going out of business after 40+ years in the grocery business. That's where my wife and I met, we'll miss Swaims grocery

On another note, I just found this list me and some other co-ops at IBM put together..it was called 101 ways to screw off at IBM...there's only 88 entries though...these were things we observed othersa doing at IBM to waste time and productivity...this was about 14-15 years ago too. I just read thru the list for the first time in over 10 years or so..and there's some very funny ones on here
1. Play Baseball with paper wads
2. Play Basketball
3. Shoot rubber bands
4. Shoot clips
5. Spit water between teeth
6. Play Nibbles
7. Do homework
8. Talk about women
9. Go outside to look around and take a break
10. Go to vending area
11. Bitch about other people goofing off
12. Throw paper airplanes
13. Move your office
14. Call your friends
15. Read the MDQ screen
16. Play Gorilla game
17. Read newsletters passed around
18. Order manuals
19. Go to a class that you do not need
20. Take secretary to lunch
21. Play solitare
22. Feed the fish
23. Take a smoke break 20 times a day
24. Go to cafeteria for breakfast
25. Jack with dog outside
26. Go get yogurt
27. Go talk to friends at their office
28. Act like you are working on a problem.
29. Clean your office or desk, as if you did work to get it dirty.
30. Act like you want to review/help on a problem when you do not know jack.
31. Act like you want to learn, but you do not give a damn.
32. Eat in your office when you have already eaten lunch.
33. Make a list a goof offs
34. Order supplies that you do not need.
35. Send messages to others to annoy them.
36. Hold luncheons/dinners to brown nose.
37. Take library courses, which you do not learn a damn thing from.
38. Hold meetings in which nothing gets accomplished.
39. Have a department luncheon to find out whose in the department.
40. Generate graphs for call backs to present to others
41. Waste time to get other employees to do things for you.
42. Throw books around
43. Get room ready for upper level management
44. Ask employee's about their weekend as if you care
45. Take apart office furniture to better suit your tastes
46. Rearrange office
47. Print off usless documents
48. Talk about last nights T.V. shows
49. Draw pictures on white board so others think you do work
50. Think about what to do for lunch
51. Copy things that are not needed
52. Pass newsletters around which nobody reads
53. Find newsletters to pass around for nobody to read
54. Go outside for coffee break
55. Talk to friends, or even people you don't know outside
56. Balance your checkbook
57. Pay your bills
58. Call about repair of home items
59. Check on how other employees are doing today, as if you care
60. Make fun of Dave and Willis the fag baits
61. Walk around and look in the co-op office
62. Plant trees and other plants that will just die
63. Wash windows when it is about to rain
64. Stand outside and wave to employees coming to work
65. Stand around saying "Have a good day" to all employees leaving work
66. Rake the rocks just so people can walk over them again
67. Blow leaves all around while paying close attention to women going by
68. Try to catch the fish in the fountain
69. Walk with buddy to pick up tapes in hope of seeing the "blond"
70. Go to copy room with co-worker when help is not needed
71. Change phonemail geeting constantly
72. Hand place large rocks under bridge as dumping them is not good enough
73. Create codes for RETAIN that no one follows
74. Hold classes on RETAIN, and teach the new codes for the month
75. Create department execs that no one uses, or rarely uses
76. Work crossword puzzles
77. Update and read your address book
78. Do church work when other things need to be done
79. Look out windows
80. Work on customer problems that are not related to your product
81. Talk about what happened at lunch after you return to office from lunch
82. Talk about this list
83. Have an ice cream social outside
84. Look for another job that you can goof off more at, or get away from goofs
85. Argue about stupid little things
86. Do blow off work instead of real needed work or taking calls
87. Pass your problems to others so you can goof off
88. When you do work, others must re-do it, requiring twice as much time.

 

[SPOOLFOOL2]

I own a glass shop (Barnard Glass) in So Cal. About 4 years ago, on a slow day, I loaded my three employes in to the work van and headed out to a new job site. Eyes were as big as coke bottles, and palms got abit sweaty as we drove in past the gate that read "Perris Valley Skydiving". As we were parking the van, my faithfull crew (up till this point) was questioning the fact that it was Friday, they had'nt gotten paid yet, and that this was some sicko way of getting out of paying them . Well, after signing our names about 50 times, and a 20 min ride to altitude, we all found our selves being thrown out of a perfictly good airplaine at 12,500 ft. We were each straped to a tandom master the whole time. But hey, it's still skydiving. The free fall lasted about 60 seconds, the canopy ride maybe 5 minutes, but the memory will last a lifetime. I guess my guys wer'nt to tramatized by the day since they've gone back on their own and done many solo jumps. I'll be celibrating my 300 th jump in the next week or two :biggrin: ..Any one else?

note: this last winter the same 4 people went snow boarding, skydiving, and surfing, all in one day . We're planing on doing this "triathalon" every winter.

Blue skys, God bless, and happy Thanksgiving every one...

 

[finallygot1]

I work for a family owned machine shop and you can have alot of fun with anti-sieze or high spot blue.A little bit goes a long way,me and a good friend are always trying to one up each other.One time I put some high spot blue(which will not dry up)on the ear piece of a phone near the machine where he was working.I had my then wife call and ask for him,the only flaw was our shop foreman was walking by as it rang.He answered the phone and got an ear full of the high spot blue,I used the oil based which can either wear off or be cleaned off with acetone.He was plenty pissed,we all laughed but not to his face.We also got on a kick of signs on the back of peoples trucks.Put one on my supervisors truck(who I went to high school with)that said I'M GAY AND DAMN PROUD OF IT.A cop pulled him over just to tell him it was there,saw he didn't have a wheel tax sticker and wrote him a ticket.Just a couple of many. :biggrin: