It's going to be a bad day. Help me make it better.

corsair231

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2005
Thanks my Canadian brother from another mother. The anniversary has passed and although it does not mean she's forgotten, life goes on... Just putting it out on here about how I was feeling helped and I'm in a little better place right now than I was then. Or at least I am until the next time that I'm not... :)
 

Jerryl

Tall Chinese Guy
Joined
Dec 14, 2004
Thanks my Canadian brother from another mother. The anniversary has passed and although it does not mean she's forgotten, life goes on... Just putting it out on here about how I was feeling helped and I'm in a little better place right now than I was then. Or at least I am until the next time that I'm not... :)
We are here for you. Stay busy with something challenging to keep your mind focused and occupied.
 

Blown&Injected

Active Member
Joined
May 31, 2001
I feel your pain. Indeed I am living it right now.
My wife of over 35 years is being slowly eaten up by cancer and I do not think we have but maybe 50 weeks together.
We have no kids and I do not know how I will continue all alone.
Everyday is the worse day of my life.
Got any advice on how you made it through?
 

corsair231

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2005
Damn, I grieve for your situation and I will say a prayer for you. This is a tough question because everybody's pain and how they deal with it is different. It's theirs and theirs alone. I don't think there is anything I could say to really make a difference because it is your onus to bear. You will have to find the strength to make it through because it is your journey, but that doesn't mean you can't find help along the way. It could be something as simple as asking a question on a car site. These guys here sure helped me a couple of weeks ago and we'll be here for you too. So just a couple of things that helped me and hopefully you may get some inspiration from them too.

First thing is there is no expiration date stamped on your wife anywhere. Don't give up on life yet. Always believe there will be a tomorrow but take it one day at a time. My wife was actually pretty good until the last 6 weeks or so. Until then she could pretty much tend to herself but just a few weeks before Christmas she really started to get weak and needed a lot of help. It was obvious that she was getting much worse but we still planned for the future. Such as things to do to the house to make it easier for her to get around and things to do in the yard come spring, etc. I think it actually helped keep her positive and I must admit, I think it helped me put off thinking about the inevitable some too. I guess what I am trying to say is be positive. Your wife will feed off of you. If you project gloom and despair, she will pick up on it. Don't look at it as everyday is the worse day of your life but look at it as you are trying to make everyday the best day of the rest of her life. Try to keep talking to her like nothing has changed. She is still your wife and you ae still her husband. That is one thing that would make my wife upset is when people would treat her like poor, poor girl or wouldn't talk to her like a normal person. Now don't get me wrong. We knew what was happening and we did talk about it, but we just didn't make it the only thing we talked about. Just make sure she knows you love her and you are not going anywhere.

Again, there are no magic words. I wish there were, I would give them to everybody because you're right, this absolutely sucks. And as far as making it through. I don't know. I haven't gotten there myself yet. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and taking it one day at a time.

Hope this helps.

Prayer said.
 
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Blown&Injected

Active Member
Joined
May 31, 2001
Thank you for helping me focus on what is important.

I had a big reply with lots of detail ready to go last night but had to dig myself. I did not need to bring my burden to you when you came here seeking help and comfort from your Buck friends.

I hope knowing that you helped me, somehow, in some way makes you feel better about the situation we share.

I know you will never forget. We do not want to forget and should not forget but as time has passed I hope the heavy emotions have eased.

You and Sabrina are in my thoughts and prayers.
 

corsair231

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2005
Thank you for helping me focus on what is important.

I had a big reply with lots of detail ready to go last night but had to dig myself. I did not need to bring my burden to you when you came here seeking help and comfort from your Buck friends.

I hope knowing that you helped me, somehow, in some way makes you feel better about the situation we share.

I know you will never forget. We do not want to forget and should not forget but as time has passed I hope the heavy emotions have eased.

You and Sabrina are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thanks,
I wish I could offer more but life is a very personal thing. We each have to live our own and because of that sometimes it is easy to forget that we are not alone. Sometimes it is the simplest of gestures that can bring the biggest comfort and if anything I said helped, you are more than welcome. If I can ever help in any way just reach out for me brother.

And as far as my beautiful Sabrina, I will never forget. For as long as she is remembered, she was.
 
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