It's going to be a bad day. Help me make it better.

corsair231

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2005
Hey everybody,

I normally try to keep my personal stuff personal but I need to talk to somebody today. Since you all are the only ones I've got at the moment, I hope you don't mind. I'm not looking for sympathy, in fact some of you would probably say I'm just looking for attention, but that's not the real reason either. You see, today is going to be a bad day for me and I'm going to need you all to do something for me to make it better. I've mentioned it on here a time or two but it is really hitting me hard right now. It was two years ago today that I lost my wife of 15 years, Sabrina Marie Mullis, to her battle with colon cancer. She fought the disease for over five years. Had 5 surgeries, including one on her last Christmas Day to remove a tumor in her brain. She had countless rounds of chemo and radiation and was even in a clinical drug trial that was working for over 75% of the people in the trial , but it didn't work for her. She passed away on Jan 21, 2019 at around 9 a.m. She was 39.

Throughout her ordeal she never let it get the better of her. Sure there were days she was so sick that she couldn't get out of bed or even hold soup down but that was just her physical symptoms. What she never lost was her spirit and her soul. She always had a smile for anyone she would see and I could not count how many people who she had a positive impact on. Even her doctors loved her so much that they took time off of work to attend her memorial. The oncology nurses said other patients were always asking about her and wondering how she could have such a sunny attitude. She never met a stranger.

The first year was bad for me but I handled it fairly well, or so I thought. I don't know if it has been this Covid crap just giving me so much time to think about it or since our kids have moved out and I'm alone in the house now or what, but recently it has been just so much worse. She has been on my mind day in and day out and I don't know what to do. Damn, I miss her. Her side of the family is getting together tonight and we're going out to eat but I feel like I need to do a little more than just see family. Now there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do to be able to hold my Sabrina in my arms again and tell her that I love her and hear her tell me that she loves me too. But alas, that will not be possible in this world, only in the next. But, I have an idea of something to do that has popped into my head. Only a few people here knew us in real life but she loved my Buick Family too. We used to have a blast when we would show at Charlotte's Autofair. She didn't like going to Richard Clark's so much , said it was nothing but parts, but she loved attending the track events. I think she would be pleased that my idea involves you all.

So what I want everyone to do is that if you have someone you love then make an extra effort to show them today. Give them an unexpected kiss, hold them like this could be the last time you ever get to see them again, tell them you love them, write them a little love note. Do something for your loved one that I can no longer do for mine. The only other thing I ask is that when you do this is to think of Sabrina. Tell her thank you for reminding you how much you love someone. Let her know in Heaven that she has not been forgotten and is still bringing joy to others and she will know that her husband still loves her too.

I know that you all don't know what she looks like so let me show you. One of the things she was proudest of was that her picture got chosen to be in a Wade Hayes music video. We played this video at her memorial service along with her message of, go live your life. Sabrina is the pretty little thing at 1:54 dressed in blue and holding up the number one with her finger. The photo was taken during her first chemo round, after she had already had two surgeries.



In the mean time, if you want to send up any prayers and good thoughts for me and my family and for anyone else who has lost a loved one, it would be welcomed and thanks for listening to my ramblings. I feel better now.
 

deezdad

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 25, 2005
Can't help but feel positive thought after reading that & seeing her picture, she was beautiful.. I'm dealing with the empty nest right now with my daughter away at treatment, she usually calls me around this time with her daily 10 minute phone call so I'll be sure to add a little something extra to the convo this morning.. thanks for sharing & hang in there man
 

Grumpy

Thread killer
Joined
May 24, 2001
Reading your post with tears in my eyes. So young :cry: Stuff does trigger our emotions. It's crazy but we have to move on. Goin threw a lot of "Woulda, Shoulda , Coulda's " lately. Kinda tuff to be positive BUT ya have to ! Watch YOUR health to ! Get out an do something different today that you would like to do. Dan's only wisdom thought of the day.
 

grass doctor

Dream Catcher
Joined
Sep 21, 2018
my heart goes out to you...i can relate a bit ...my father had colon cancer and had 13 inches of his colon cut out...he called me every day when he was going for his chemo treatments...the poison he liked to call it...i could not be with him at the time but thankfully he is still in remission..all i can say is my thoughts and prayers are with you buddy...hope you can remember more of the good times than the bad... on this trying day... great song and video BTW thx for sharing....music can heal the troubled soul....i think i will cook my wife one of her favorite meals tonight ....in honor of your request....
 

Jerryl

Tall Chinese Guy
Joined
Dec 14, 2004
Sabrina was able to stay positive while facing an impossible challenge. That is a very rare quality!
Hang in there brother! I will definitely pray for you.

Here is my encouragement and message to you, from Sabrina (RIP):

20210121_100231.jpg
 

Anthony P

sharing knowledge with those who care to listen
Joined
Jan 24, 2007
my condolences to you. it's not easy. it is said that time heals all wounds. but it does not. I'm sure everything is still pretty raw.

the past 7-plus years have been a bear for you, I'm sure. while our memories always seem to focus on those last few years, the tough years, you have to remember to recall the good and fun times you both had before Sabrina received that diagnosis. That day and for the next 5-plus years, the world turned upside down for you both. Life stops in its tracks. Dreams and plans abruptly change as a new reality takes over.

Find comfort knowing Sabrina was at peace and accepting of the process. As you noted, she never lost her spirit or her soul. That sunny attitude of hers left a positive impact not only on other patients but also with the medical staff.

As you navigate the acceptance and grieving process, don't get weighed down with "what if's" and second guessing treatment paths. it will just tear you down. Instead, do and remember the better times - talk with her as if she is riding shotgun with you and take a moment to tell her about your day. it helps.

make sure you continue to engage or re-engage in the activities, hobbies, interests, etc you used to do. Don't let that stop just because....Sabrina would want you to live your life to the fullest.

exercise - walking, running, biking, swimming, any cardio, will release endorphins - the body's natural pick-me-up chemicals.

you are not alone....I've walked in your shoes.
 

corsair231

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2005
Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. I know I am not the only one who has walked this path before and I know I won't be the last one to do so either so I'm no one special in that regard but she was someone special to me. I always will wish I had more time and I could have held her once more and told her I loved her more that life itself so I am very honored that you all are taking my advice and doing something extra for your loved ones today. I know she would approve.

And about the replies. Well bartender, likes are on me. Everybody gets a like except for Jerryl. Jerryl gets a love, simply for the beauty in his reply.
 

Grumpy

Thread killer
Joined
May 24, 2001
Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. I know I am not the only one who has walked this path before and I know I won't be the last one to do so either so I'm no one special in that regard but she was someone special to me. I always will wish I had more time and I could have held her once more and told her I loved her more that life itself so I am very honored that you all are taking my advice and doing something extra for your loved ones today. I know she would approve.

Ya the old woulda coulda shoulda's. Time is precocious and we really don't think it is until your there. Then the guilt steps in. Ya can't second guess yourself.
 

grass doctor

Dream Catcher
Joined
Sep 21, 2018
well the dinner was a success...thank you for your inspiration...I need to do that more often....as I am mentally and physically drained form work most days....you are a great man with a huge heart and I would ask a request of you....and I want you to write Sabrina a letter....expressing all your feelings ...even if it was some arguments you had in the past ...and some of your most memorable moments ...script it on some nice paper with a quality pen...and take to her grave site ...I think this might aid in the grieving process..but actually sitting down a writing a letter does wonders for the soul and all the thoughts running around in your mind.....just a suggestion...love you brudda
 

KC87

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2009
Wow, been trying to think of something kind and gentle to say but what is that when another person has lost a wife they were so much in love with. Sorry just doesn't seem like enough but we can feel some of your pain in the way you write about her.
Time will help heal some of it but there's always a hole left in the heart. May the good Lord help ease this sorrow in you.
 

corsair231

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2005
well the dinner was a success...thank you for your inspiration...I need to do that more often....as I am mentally and physically drained form work most days....you are a great man with a huge heart and I would ask a request of you....and I want you to write Sabrina a letter....expressing all your feelings ...even if it was some arguments you had in the past ...and some of your most memorable moments ...script it on some nice paper with a quality pen...and take to her grave site ...I think this might aid in the grieving process..but actually sitting down a writing a letter does wonders for the soul and all the thoughts running around in your mind.....just a suggestion...love you brudda
Thanks man. That is one of the things she did for us was to write us letters for after she was gone and that was one of the reasons for making this post today was to relieve some of my feelings in print. As far as the grave site, I have her urn here at home and I visit it often. I will lay my hands on it and we will have a good ole conversation. But you are right, it has been a while since I wrote her a little love note.

Thank you all again and I love all my Buick Brethren.
 

Blacky

Drive it like you stole it
Joined
Apr 17, 2010
Corsair231
I lost my wife in child birth, and gained a son. 1st child. Life was a bitch but I had a business and had to get on my feet for my son and I. She was 34. Fast forward, I have lost that son to the same fucking rare disease at 25. He was going up a race fan and fellow Buick Buddy and was on a very successful life. Not exactly sure how I have made it this far, but I don't dwell to much and keep on living as I will meet them again when its my time. Now I'm crying.
Please just move forward and live life as she would want you to, life its just to short sir. Never hurts to get profession help I found out. My prayers to you for strength. You must LIVE on!
 

corsair231

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2005
God, losing a wife is one thing but I couldn't imagine losing a child. It's just not natural. It ain't supposed to work that way. Keep your faith and be strong and you will see them again. God does have a plan. It's not meant for us to understand. Blacky, you have my prayers too.
 

vicious6

Turbo Regal Obsessed
Joined
Nov 26, 2001
God Bless You Buick Brother. These are hard times at best. When you are dealing with that kind of loss it is that much more difficult. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
 
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