- Joined
- May 28, 2001
Of all the things I learned in grade school, how to avoid cooties was the last one I expected to use.
People keep asking “is coronavirus really that serious?” Listen up! Casinos and churches are closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing, it’s probably pretty serious!
Now that teachers finally have a chance to use the restroom, there’s no toilet paper.
Well Groovy Guys and Groovy Gals of the '70s…our grandkids just knocked our Blizzard of '78 stories out of the ballpark!
Shout out to all the parents who never taught their kids respect and now they’re stuck at home with the little shits!!!
The longer this goes on the harder it will be to return to a society where pants and bras are required.
Cops these days will be like…”come out with your hands washed!”
Day 59 of quarantine…ate all the snacks and food…clothes no longer fit… but I’m still wearing gloves and mask for my protection.
Never in my whole life would I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth!
And just like that…having a mask, rubber gloves, duct tape, plastic sheeting and rope in your trunk is OK.
Ask not what staying home on the couch can do for you, but ask what staying home on the couch can do for your country
Ladies…time to start dating the older dudes. They can get you into the grocery store early.
I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.
I can’t believe I can walk into a store to buy weed, but I have to meet my hairdresser in a dark alley with unmarked bills to get a haircut!
Have to say that the Class of 2020 outdid themselves with Senior Skip Day this year
Not to brag, but I haven’t been late for anything for the past 39 days!
Sitting at the bar in the kitchen at night. Tried to pick up my wife. She gave me a fake phone number. WTH…
It’s been a blessing being home with the wife for three weeks now. We’ve caught up on everything I’ve done wrong for fifteen years.
Have you noticed that since beauty salons are closed, selfies are down 78%?
Breaking News: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended.
Not so much to prevent coronavirus, but to stop eating.
People keep asking “is coronavirus really that serious?” Listen up! Casinos and churches are closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing, it’s probably pretty serious!
Now that teachers finally have a chance to use the restroom, there’s no toilet paper.
Well Groovy Guys and Groovy Gals of the '70s…our grandkids just knocked our Blizzard of '78 stories out of the ballpark!
Shout out to all the parents who never taught their kids respect and now they’re stuck at home with the little shits!!!
The longer this goes on the harder it will be to return to a society where pants and bras are required.
Cops these days will be like…”come out with your hands washed!”
Day 59 of quarantine…ate all the snacks and food…clothes no longer fit… but I’m still wearing gloves and mask for my protection.
Never in my whole life would I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth!
And just like that…having a mask, rubber gloves, duct tape, plastic sheeting and rope in your trunk is OK.
Ask not what staying home on the couch can do for you, but ask what staying home on the couch can do for your country
Ladies…time to start dating the older dudes. They can get you into the grocery store early.
I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.
I can’t believe I can walk into a store to buy weed, but I have to meet my hairdresser in a dark alley with unmarked bills to get a haircut!
Have to say that the Class of 2020 outdid themselves with Senior Skip Day this year
Not to brag, but I haven’t been late for anything for the past 39 days!
Sitting at the bar in the kitchen at night. Tried to pick up my wife. She gave me a fake phone number. WTH…
It’s been a blessing being home with the wife for three weeks now. We’ve caught up on everything I’ve done wrong for fifteen years.
Have you noticed that since beauty salons are closed, selfies are down 78%?
Breaking News: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended.
Not so much to prevent coronavirus, but to stop eating.
